Good people are guided by their honesty; treacherous people are destroyed by their dishonesty. Proverbs 11:3 NLT
Our daughter, Kaitlin, is in her room, crying, as I write this. Saturday evening, she discovered a book in her bookcase, belonging to her 2nd-grade teacher who taught her last year. Apparently, she had forgotten that she had it and didn't take it back.
Kaitlin wants to take it back but she is afraid that she will get a mark against her perfect behavioral record.
As a parent, I would like to tell her, with absolute certainty, that nothing bad will happen by returning a book that she accidentally still has possession of. However, I do not know, with absolute certainty, that there will be no disciplinary action. I really cannot imagine such will be the case but I simply do not know.
Tomorrow morning, on the first day back to school from Thanksgiving break, she will return the book to it's owner. It is a scary lesson to learn but learning to be a person of integrity is a noble pursuit.
Far too often, children hear, or worse, see their parents fail at maintaining a character of integrity. From simply borrowing a few nuts and bolts from work to not wanting the hassle or inconvenience of returning the amount of money that was mistakenly given them in making change; adults display flawed character and the kids are quick to learn it.
So this is a opportunity to teach by example. I will take Kaitlin to school, go through the front office visitor screening, walk with her to the teacher's classroom and be with her as she returns the book. Whatever happens, I want her to know that she did the right thing and that I am proud of her.
As parents, grandparents and adults, please know that children, yours and others, are watching you. They are learning by observation about your true character. Just as I am showing Kaitlin the importance of returning what is not hers, we need to set a consistent example of integrity for this young generation.
The above verse speaks of two types of character. One is honest and the other dishonest. I'm convinced that dishonesty is not learned from a single and large event witnessed in a role model's life, but a lifestyle of numerous and seemingly insignificant incidents of dishonesty.
As parents, grandparents and adults, the question is not if we will be role models, but, what kind of role models we will be. Children learn their future roles by watching us.
Do you, as a role model, model a character of integrity?
For Marriages and Families,
Dave
"strengthening marriages and binding broken hearts"
Monday, November 30, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Monday Marriage Minder - 11-16-09 - "Laugh"
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person's strength. Prov 17:22 NLT
Last Month, Robin and I purchased a new computer which has some really cool features. Robin and the kids have been having some fun with the built-in web cam - making funny videos with strange voices etc.
A few nights ago, after watching videos of Robin and Alex sing Amazing Grace, The Lollipop Guild and others-in munchkin voices, Robin was recording a video where the program made her voice sound like a duck. Being the goofball I am, I couldn't resist coming up from behind, getting in the video and yelling the loudest, "Quack-Quack-Quack", that I could.
Upon replaying the video my voice-turned-duck, sounded hilarious! We all laughed so hard that our stomachs began to hurt. It was good to laugh, it changed our whole attitude and added life to our evening.
The next evening, after a long day at work, Robin came home and said that she had left work hoping that I would make her laugh again.
So often, our lives are so stressful that we forget to laugh. Even something as silly as sounding like a duck can melt away the tension of a day.
Most couples can think back to when they first met and remember times that they spent laughing. When asked, "What attracted you to him/her?" One of the most common responses that husbands and wives give is, "He/She makes me laugh!"
Are you or is your marriage relationship tired and broken in spirit? Look for something funny (life is full of funny things), watch something funny or do something funny. Don't forget to laugh - together!
For Marriages and Families,
Dave
Last Month, Robin and I purchased a new computer which has some really cool features. Robin and the kids have been having some fun with the built-in web cam - making funny videos with strange voices etc.
A few nights ago, after watching videos of Robin and Alex sing Amazing Grace, The Lollipop Guild and others-in munchkin voices, Robin was recording a video where the program made her voice sound like a duck. Being the goofball I am, I couldn't resist coming up from behind, getting in the video and yelling the loudest, "Quack-Quack-Quack", that I could.
Upon replaying the video my voice-turned-duck, sounded hilarious! We all laughed so hard that our stomachs began to hurt. It was good to laugh, it changed our whole attitude and added life to our evening.
The next evening, after a long day at work, Robin came home and said that she had left work hoping that I would make her laugh again.
So often, our lives are so stressful that we forget to laugh. Even something as silly as sounding like a duck can melt away the tension of a day.
Most couples can think back to when they first met and remember times that they spent laughing. When asked, "What attracted you to him/her?" One of the most common responses that husbands and wives give is, "He/She makes me laugh!"
Are you or is your marriage relationship tired and broken in spirit? Look for something funny (life is full of funny things), watch something funny or do something funny. Don't forget to laugh - together!
For Marriages and Families,
Dave
Monday, November 9, 2009
Monday Marriage Minder 11-9-09 "It Is Not Good"
The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
Genesis 2:18 NIV
For the past few weeks, due to colds, the kids' practice schedules and various obligations, Robin and I have been busy with the fast pace of our lives - meeting in passing and giving each other a quick kiss hello or goodbye.
For the past two Sundays, Robin has either not been able to attend church or has had to leave early. We certainly do not begrudge any of the activities our kids are in; however, I never quite feel complete without Robin close to me.
Sure, it's church, I'm surrounded by a family that loves me and I them, but without Robin's presence I misfire a bit and typically feel somewhat lost.
In thinking about this, what I feel goes far beyond anything Robin does, or, in her absence, does not do. Simply having her near is energizing and I am more focused and can accomplish far more tasks than I could without her.
I believe God knew this about us men, and uniquely gifted women to be an equal counterpart. Too often, I take for granted the gift God gave me in Robin. All she has to do is be herself and that helps me be a better person. I have learned that her counsel is wise and she seldom misses the mark when it comes to encouraging me and reading people.
Husbands, appreciate your wife's unique giftings and remember that she truly wants to help you become all that God wants you to be. God has well equipped her for that task.
For Marriages and Families,
Dave
Genesis 2:18 NIV
For the past few weeks, due to colds, the kids' practice schedules and various obligations, Robin and I have been busy with the fast pace of our lives - meeting in passing and giving each other a quick kiss hello or goodbye.
For the past two Sundays, Robin has either not been able to attend church or has had to leave early. We certainly do not begrudge any of the activities our kids are in; however, I never quite feel complete without Robin close to me.
Sure, it's church, I'm surrounded by a family that loves me and I them, but without Robin's presence I misfire a bit and typically feel somewhat lost.
In thinking about this, what I feel goes far beyond anything Robin does, or, in her absence, does not do. Simply having her near is energizing and I am more focused and can accomplish far more tasks than I could without her.
I believe God knew this about us men, and uniquely gifted women to be an equal counterpart. Too often, I take for granted the gift God gave me in Robin. All she has to do is be herself and that helps me be a better person. I have learned that her counsel is wise and she seldom misses the mark when it comes to encouraging me and reading people.
Husbands, appreciate your wife's unique giftings and remember that she truly wants to help you become all that God wants you to be. God has well equipped her for that task.
For Marriages and Families,
Dave
Friday, October 30, 2009
MMM - Subscriptions
With our new MMM distributor comes a feature which tells us who has opened their MMM that week. To be a better steward of the gifts our faithful supporters have given us, we have set the automated list settings to delete the email address of any individual that has not opened the MMM within a 6 week time period.
Thanks for reading and thank you for your commitment to your marriage and marriage ministry!
Blessings!
Dave
Thanks for reading and thank you for your commitment to your marriage and marriage ministry!
Blessings!
Dave
Monday, October 26, 2009
Monday Marriage Minder - "Making Up For Lost Time"
Dreams can be a great thing. Having a dream motivates us - spurring us on to achieve great things. However, sometimes the pursuit of a dream can leave casualties in it's wake. Consider the following:
He was achieving national acclaim in his field. Public appearences, magazine articles, radio and television spots were becoming commonplace for him. National corporations were pursuing him with promotional contracts and he was expected to become one of the next big names in the industry. His friends became those who could best further his rise to fame. To most within his sphere of influence, he appeared to have it all.
Left in the shadows; however, was his wife and his children. Sure, he loved them but his dream and the subsequent drive for success was first-place in his life. Even more sad, his once close relationship with God became even lower on his list of priorities. He would often pray, "Lord, don't come back until I've accomplished..."
The story goes on to reveal a change. A changed heart, a changed life and a changed dream. God blessed him by allowing a devastating financial loss and a abrupt change in the direction of his life.
God has faithfully restored a sincere love and focus on Christ, family and others in his life. Just as God promised to restore what was taken from the children of Israel in Joel chapter 2, God has restored blessings far over and above the desires of his heart.
Recently, he told his wife that someone wanted to talk with him about his old life. His wife questioned him as to his response. He simply stated, "That man has been dead for years."
Robin's smile was priceless - God is a master at making up for lost time. God has restored those years!
For Marriages and Families,
Dave & Robin Kidd
Questions of the Week
1. What does your priority list look like?
2. What motivates you, in your marriage, your family, your life and/or your ministry?
3. How has God changed your dreams as a couple?
He was achieving national acclaim in his field. Public appearences, magazine articles, radio and television spots were becoming commonplace for him. National corporations were pursuing him with promotional contracts and he was expected to become one of the next big names in the industry. His friends became those who could best further his rise to fame. To most within his sphere of influence, he appeared to have it all.
Left in the shadows; however, was his wife and his children. Sure, he loved them but his dream and the subsequent drive for success was first-place in his life. Even more sad, his once close relationship with God became even lower on his list of priorities. He would often pray, "Lord, don't come back until I've accomplished..."
The story goes on to reveal a change. A changed heart, a changed life and a changed dream. God blessed him by allowing a devastating financial loss and a abrupt change in the direction of his life.
God has faithfully restored a sincere love and focus on Christ, family and others in his life. Just as God promised to restore what was taken from the children of Israel in Joel chapter 2, God has restored blessings far over and above the desires of his heart.
Recently, he told his wife that someone wanted to talk with him about his old life. His wife questioned him as to his response. He simply stated, "That man has been dead for years."
Robin's smile was priceless - God is a master at making up for lost time. God has restored those years!
For Marriages and Families,
Dave & Robin Kidd
Questions of the Week
1. What does your priority list look like?
2. What motivates you, in your marriage, your family, your life and/or your ministry?
3. How has God changed your dreams as a couple?
Monday, October 19, 2009
Monday Marriage Minder - "Forever-Bump"
1 Cor 7:28b NIV
...but those who marry will face many troubles in this life...
This past Saturday, upon returning home from our Sweetest Day lunch date, my wife Robin and I were met at the door by the smiling faces of our four kids. After inquiring as to what the smiles were about, the kids proceeded to tell us that they had been discussing the symbolism of wedding rings. An odd conversation for teens and kids for sure. Apparently, one of the twins told the younger ones that the rings symbolized "Forever" because a ring has no beginning and no end-a ring keeps going round and round.
Our son, Alex, being a bright young man of 11 years (today) questioned his brothers about the woman's ring, having a setting and diamond. "So for a woman, it's forever-bump-forever-bump-forever-bump." As they were telling us this Robin and I couldn't help but to laugh.
After my laughter subsided, the scripture above came to my mind and I thought how problems come into our marriage that when worked through together, serve to strengthen our marriage and bring relational growth.
Yesterday, I quoted that same scripture in a conversation with a friend while standing in the church foyer. Then, again, in a couple's workshop, yesterday afternoon, this same scripture was quoted by another friend of mine. Each time that this occurred, Robin and I would look at each other and smile - each one thinking - "forever-bump-forever-bump".
In marriage as in Christian life, God allows trials and tests - "troubles" if you will, to refine us and shape us and our marriage into something better. The key is staying the course after hitting the "bump" of the trouble.
If there was never any adversity, would there ever be any growth? Far too often, we hit a relational "bump" and allow ourselves to be thrown way off course. However, if we expect the bumps in our marriage, if we are prepared for the bumps, then we can better navigate through them and stay the course of forever - on earth with our spouse and in preparation for eternity with Christ.
Marital and relational bumps are sure to come. Enjoy the journey and learn from the bumps. Allow those things to strengthen your marriage. The next time you experience a "bump" in your marriage, look at your rings!
For Marriages and Families,
Dave
...but those who marry will face many troubles in this life...
This past Saturday, upon returning home from our Sweetest Day lunch date, my wife Robin and I were met at the door by the smiling faces of our four kids. After inquiring as to what the smiles were about, the kids proceeded to tell us that they had been discussing the symbolism of wedding rings. An odd conversation for teens and kids for sure. Apparently, one of the twins told the younger ones that the rings symbolized "Forever" because a ring has no beginning and no end-a ring keeps going round and round.
Our son, Alex, being a bright young man of 11 years (today) questioned his brothers about the woman's ring, having a setting and diamond. "So for a woman, it's forever-bump-forever-bump-forever-bump." As they were telling us this Robin and I couldn't help but to laugh.
After my laughter subsided, the scripture above came to my mind and I thought how problems come into our marriage that when worked through together, serve to strengthen our marriage and bring relational growth.
Yesterday, I quoted that same scripture in a conversation with a friend while standing in the church foyer. Then, again, in a couple's workshop, yesterday afternoon, this same scripture was quoted by another friend of mine. Each time that this occurred, Robin and I would look at each other and smile - each one thinking - "forever-bump-forever-bump".
In marriage as in Christian life, God allows trials and tests - "troubles" if you will, to refine us and shape us and our marriage into something better. The key is staying the course after hitting the "bump" of the trouble.
If there was never any adversity, would there ever be any growth? Far too often, we hit a relational "bump" and allow ourselves to be thrown way off course. However, if we expect the bumps in our marriage, if we are prepared for the bumps, then we can better navigate through them and stay the course of forever - on earth with our spouse and in preparation for eternity with Christ.
Marital and relational bumps are sure to come. Enjoy the journey and learn from the bumps. Allow those things to strengthen your marriage. The next time you experience a "bump" in your marriage, look at your rings!
For Marriages and Families,
Dave
Monday, October 12, 2009
Monday Marriage Minder - Broken Heart
Luke 17:1-3 NIV
Jesus said to his disciples: "Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come. It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin. So watch yourselves."
*This week’s MMM is especially close to my heart and has been the most difficult to write. If you are expecting wit, wisdom and decent grammar, then you will probably be disappointed. However, I am asking you to read my broken heart in the lines to follow. As I studied the above verses, their implications became very real to me. I sat for hours writing this, praying, crying and deleting lines only to retype them again. I believe I am just going to go "all-in" and unburden my heart. The unsubscribe tool is at the bottom of the page. - Dave
Youth! I love to be around them. I love speaking in their services. I love their goofiness and their passion. Having spent several years as the head of the youth committee for a denominational district, I loathed "aging out" of the youth leader ranks. My experiences with youth groups has left a soft spot in my heart for teens.
Every time I'm in a church service, I find myself glancing at the young people." Are they engaged in worship?" "Are they connecting with the message and, more importantly, with God?" These questions flash through my mind.
In recent years, I have noticed a disturbing trend that appears to be everywhere. Besides the "youth group section", I notice more and more disconnected teens in the pews. I am always glad to see them in the service, but so many appear to only be there, physically. What breaks my heart is that a large majority of these kids in focus come from a background of family dysfunction. Look at their faces and one can see the emptiness, pain and confusion. Browse the public social media sites and you can read the posts of despair, depression and anger.
The pastors and counselors, who comprise the majority reading this e-votional, can attest that teens, whose Christian parents are struggling in their marriage or have divorced, are often struggling with their relationship with God. I know their pastor’s heart breaks as well. Their hearts break because this breaks God's heart! There isn't a week that goes by that I don't counsel, in some way or another, a hurting teen whose parents not only can't get it together, but refuse to allow God to get them together. In the above verse, Jesus had even stronger words for anyone causing a youth to stumble which literally includes causing them to walk away from their relationship with God. (Do a word study on the Greek - "skandalizo") Thankfully, God's grace reaches far beyond this; however, the pain inflicted on young lives is tragic and I believe that Christ will expect an account as he judges the believers.
I could write paragraphs, but it would only be to convey the idea that we can keep watching the teens in our churches walk away from the faith, or we can mobilize through God's power and minister or minister more to the primary influence'rs of these teens - their parents. We can touch a teen for Christ by investing a couple hours each week, but what would happen if we reached their parent's marriage or the wounded heart of a single parent?
Want to keep more teens for Christ? Touch the parent(s).
As always, the greatest thing that we can do is to heed Christ's warning in verse 3 - "Watch Yourselves". I am recommitting to that watch over my own life. The stakes are too high in the aspects of young lives and marriages. Also, there is coming a day when I will stand before God.
For Marriages and Youth,
Dave
Jesus said to his disciples: "Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come. It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin. So watch yourselves."
*This week’s MMM is especially close to my heart and has been the most difficult to write. If you are expecting wit, wisdom and decent grammar, then you will probably be disappointed. However, I am asking you to read my broken heart in the lines to follow. As I studied the above verses, their implications became very real to me. I sat for hours writing this, praying, crying and deleting lines only to retype them again. I believe I am just going to go "all-in" and unburden my heart. The unsubscribe tool is at the bottom of the page. - Dave
Youth! I love to be around them. I love speaking in their services. I love their goofiness and their passion. Having spent several years as the head of the youth committee for a denominational district, I loathed "aging out" of the youth leader ranks. My experiences with youth groups has left a soft spot in my heart for teens.
Every time I'm in a church service, I find myself glancing at the young people." Are they engaged in worship?" "Are they connecting with the message and, more importantly, with God?" These questions flash through my mind.
In recent years, I have noticed a disturbing trend that appears to be everywhere. Besides the "youth group section", I notice more and more disconnected teens in the pews. I am always glad to see them in the service, but so many appear to only be there, physically. What breaks my heart is that a large majority of these kids in focus come from a background of family dysfunction. Look at their faces and one can see the emptiness, pain and confusion. Browse the public social media sites and you can read the posts of despair, depression and anger.
The pastors and counselors, who comprise the majority reading this e-votional, can attest that teens, whose Christian parents are struggling in their marriage or have divorced, are often struggling with their relationship with God. I know their pastor’s heart breaks as well. Their hearts break because this breaks God's heart! There isn't a week that goes by that I don't counsel, in some way or another, a hurting teen whose parents not only can't get it together, but refuse to allow God to get them together. In the above verse, Jesus had even stronger words for anyone causing a youth to stumble which literally includes causing them to walk away from their relationship with God. (Do a word study on the Greek - "skandalizo") Thankfully, God's grace reaches far beyond this; however, the pain inflicted on young lives is tragic and I believe that Christ will expect an account as he judges the believers.
I could write paragraphs, but it would only be to convey the idea that we can keep watching the teens in our churches walk away from the faith, or we can mobilize through God's power and minister or minister more to the primary influence'rs of these teens - their parents. We can touch a teen for Christ by investing a couple hours each week, but what would happen if we reached their parent's marriage or the wounded heart of a single parent?
Want to keep more teens for Christ? Touch the parent(s).
As always, the greatest thing that we can do is to heed Christ's warning in verse 3 - "Watch Yourselves". I am recommitting to that watch over my own life. The stakes are too high in the aspects of young lives and marriages. Also, there is coming a day when I will stand before God.
For Marriages and Youth,
Dave
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