Behind Closed Doors

"You are a garden fountain, a well of flowing water streaming down from Lebanon.

Awake, north wind, and come, south wind! Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread everywhere. Let my beloved come into his garden and taste its choice fruits." (Song of Solomon 4:15, 16 NIV)

What's more difficult, to learn something new or to unlearn something we have previously learned? 

In counseling couples I am alarmed at the frequency of contact with husbands and wives, both frustrated with each other and struggling with the tension between desire and taught behavior. 

Couples that were innocently taught a "Don't touch, Don't talk about it, and, Anything other than kissing and intercourse in marriage is bad" view of married lovemaking.

While, there have been and are perversions in the world, most conflict in the Christian bedroom stem from a lack of mutual communication, preference and service. 

The example of married love in the passage where these verses come from, are laden with vivid word images depicting body parts and functions desirable in lovemaking. 

God's design was for the sexual-marital experience to be physically pleasurable, emotionally connecting and mutually satisfying, providing it is only between the husband and wife. 

The pastor that offered Robin and I our premarital counseling and officiated our wedding, did us a huge favor, when he offered this advice.

He said, "The old country song, 'No One Knows What Goes On Behind Closed Doors' is a good rule of thumb for a husband and wife. Keep whatever you do between the two of you and do it behind a closed (and I'll add LOCKED) door." 

The whole crux of this post is, simply, this. Enjoy each other, express your desires, be open minded to your spouse's desires, serve each other voluntarily and never force anything on each other. Pray beforehand, asking God's Holy Spirit to bless you as a couple as you seek to bless your spouse.

Compare what you have been taught to the standard of scripture. Song of Solomon is in the Bible for a reason. And, often, when you take scriptures view on scripture you get powerful Truth.

What does 2 Timothy 3:16-17 say about Song of Solomon?

"All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. 17 God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work."

Are you doing "good work" behind closed doors?