MONDAY MARRIAGE MINDER - EnCOURAGEment Part - Two

EnCOURAGEment

Part - Two

"There is not a single thing that I like about him." Wow! That's harsh. I've lost count of how many times I have heard that sentiment or one similar to it from wives as I've sat in counseling sessions with couples.

Not only it is a harsh statement; however,  it is a statement that I have never found to be completely true - it's seldom true, actually. As the counseling process with these couples would continue, inevitably, the wives would, miraculously, remember something about their husband that they not only liked but admired.

Imagine that! One of the goals of my counseling methodology is to challenge the irrational thinking of the counselee and lead him or her to begin focusing on the positive aspects of their spouse and situation. 

The thought of doing so, reminds me of an old song that I remember from one of those "School House Rock" TV cartoons I viewed as a child.

The song says...

"You have to accentuate the positive,

eliminate the negative,

and latch on to the affirmative,

don't mess with Mr. In-Between" 

- Sam Cooke

  

You can check out the song here...

  

There is a lot of truth in the lyric of that old song. But it's not an original thought. In fact, it is an echo from Scripture. Check this out...

  

"And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise."

- Philippians 4:8 NLT

Wives, think about anything from this verse of scripture that applies to your husband and DWELL on it. I would suggest you even go so far as to write it down and, even verbalize it to your husband in the form of appreciation.

One of the questions I ask a wife, who suddenly remembers something she likes and admires about her husband, is this...

"When was the last time you told your husband that you appreciate that about him?" Then I watch as the pieces click together in the wife's busy mind.

Ladies! Find the positive in your man. It is there because God has put it there. When you find it, celebrate it verbally and often and then what what God will do in your marriage through your husband.

For some this exercise will be easy because you are accustomed to doing so or there are so many positive aspects within your husband. Others will find this exercise to be more difficult but it will be so rewarding as it strengthens your marriage. It will take courage but it will be an encouragement to your husband.

  

For Marriages & Families,

Dave & Robin