Love and Respect Reflects: I HAVE DECIDED

Love and Respect Reflects: I HAVE DECIDED

Binding Hearts Marriage and Family Ministries

Monday Marriage Minder

January 12, 2009

What Are Your Words Saying?

You have probably heard the saying, "It's not what you say, it's how you say it." I am going to suggest that it is both what you say and how you say it. Lately, we have been teaching our kids about their responsibility in speech. Over the last two years I have been holding to a verbal lifestyle that says, "If it comes out of my mouth, I am responsible for:

• What I said.
• What I meant.
• All the non verbals (body language).
• How what I said was received and interpreted."

In short, if I say something and someone interprets it differently than how I meant it, it is MY response-ability to:

1. Apologize for any miscommunication.
2. Offer clarification.
3. Learn from my communicative mistake.

I am sure we have all seen many relationships destroyed because someone would not take responsibility for what they said. Perhaps this is why in Collosians 4:66, Paul writes, "Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone". NIV

This is especially true for the target audience of the above verse - the believers. Just a few words that are misinterpreted by the hearer can have devastating effects. Imagine placing the guidelines mentioned above in the marriage relationship. Might it remove some of the teeth from our bad moods, disagreements and our arguments? Simply taking responsibility for words, directed at our spouse, will cause us to think before we speak and then, speak those words in love.

Question of the Week: What if you could visually see your word's effect on your spouse? What would you change?

For Marriages & Families,

Dave