Monday, November 30, 2009

Monday Marriage Minder 11-30-09 "Integrity"

Good people are guided by their honesty; treacherous people are destroyed by their dishonesty. Proverbs 11:3 NLT

Our daughter, Kaitlin, is in her room, crying, as I write this. Saturday evening, she discovered a book in her bookcase, belonging to her 2nd-grade teacher who taught her last year. Apparently, she had forgotten that she had it and didn't take it back.
Kaitlin wants to take it back but she is afraid that she will get a mark against her perfect behavioral record.

As a parent, I would like to tell her, with absolute certainty, that nothing bad will happen by returning a book that she accidentally still has possession of. However, I do not know, with absolute certainty, that there will be no disciplinary action. I really cannot imagine such will be the case but I simply do not know.

Tomorrow morning, on the first day back to school from Thanksgiving break, she will return the book to it's owner. It is a scary lesson to learn but learning to be a person of integrity is a noble pursuit.

Far too often, children hear, or worse, see their parents fail at maintaining a character of integrity. From simply borrowing a few nuts and bolts from work to not wanting the hassle or inconvenience of returning the amount of money that was mistakenly given them in making change; adults display flawed character and the kids are quick to learn it.

So this is a opportunity to teach by example. I will take Kaitlin to school, go through the front office visitor screening, walk with her to the teacher's classroom and be with her as she returns the book. Whatever happens, I want her to know that she did the right thing and that I am proud of her.

As parents, grandparents and adults, please know that children, yours and others, are watching you. They are learning by observation about your true character. Just as I am showing Kaitlin the importance of returning what is not hers, we need to set a consistent example of integrity for this young generation.

The above verse speaks of two types of character. One is honest and the other dishonest. I'm convinced that dishonesty is not learned from a single and large event witnessed in a role model's life, but a lifestyle of numerous and seemingly insignificant incidents of dishonesty.

As parents, grandparents and adults, the question is not if we will be role models, but, what kind of role models we will be. Children learn their future roles by watching us.

Do you, as a role model, model a character of integrity?

For Marriages and Families,

Dave

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