Watch Out For The Trap

"Are you hearing things?" It is a common question in movies, especially those movies depicting a patient and therapist relationship.

Usually, the patient gets defensive and emphatically states that they are not "hearing things".

Have you ever been tempted to ask your spouse the same question? You know, during those times when your spouse reacts in such an unexpected way to something you said. You question, at least in your mind, what on earth they heard?

Truth is, we all hear things. We not only hear what is verbally spoken by our spouse and others, but, all-the-while it is being spoken, we are extrapolating the meaning and the purpose behind the words.

Often, that meaning and purpose derived from our perception and estimation becomes a distortion of the intent of our spouse.

Case in point. I woke up this morning and walked out into our kitchen to find my wife, Robin, hurrying about as she was preparing to leave for work. The first words out of her mouth were, "You need to..."

OK. I instantly had a couple of choices. I could view her words as being disrespectful and unloving and stomp off while muttering things like,

"I can't believe she didn't say good morning." Or. "Who is she to give me orders?"

Or, as I did this morning, I realized that I had slept in, I did not help her with the kids, the laundry, the bills or anything else. Oh, wait, I did make the bed, but anyway...

Here is the point. Our marriage has a real enemy. His name is Satan. He loves to drive a wedge between a husband and wife by wanting us to take offense at the words and actions of our spouse.

Robin's intent was not to say, "You're a lousy husband and your not worth greeting in the morning." No. Her intent was," I'm in a hurry, this thing that I'm asking you to do is really important to me and I NEED YOU to take care of it. She was asking me to step up and be her hero today.

Same words, entirely different meaning.

I had been hearing a buzz about a book and it's author recently. To be honest, as much as I like to write, I am not much of a reader - a fault that I'm working on. However, I heard the author speak twice last week at a conference that we were speaking at, and I was both convicted and challenged. I had Robin purchase the book for me to read as soon as we returned home.

The book is called The Bait of Satan by John Bevere. In the book, Bevere, exposes the trap that the enemy sets for all of us, regarding our relationships. That trap is, of course, offense. In marriage, if the enemy can get us to be offended, he can separate us, emotionally, relationally and spiritually from our spouse and, ultimately, from God.

Recognizing the temptation to take offense with our spouse, is key to spiritually protecting your spouse and your marriage.

My prayer today, was,

"God, I know that Robin was communicating from her heart this morning. I know that she loves me and needs me to help her with what she asked. Help me not to allow offense to come between her and I and between us and You."

Have you allowed satan's trap of offense into your marriage? Or, are you spiritually protecting your marriage?

Do not merely listen to the words that your spouse speaks to you, but listen to what they are truly speaking - from the heart.