Wives - Please read this and then answer the following question in a comment.
How would you respond to your husband if he truly loved you as Christ loved the church?
"strengthening marriages and binding broken hearts"
Monday, December 13, 2010
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Our Christmas Prayer
"It isn't about making money.
It's all about the need.
So many marriages are hurting,
while so many are consumed with greed.
Our Christmas prayer is that You would hold
Binding Hearts in Your powerful hand,
allow us to make a Kingdom impact
and help marriages take a stand."
- Amen
Rescue a marriage - save a family; save a family - strengthen the Church - Do we still think it isn't our problem?
Friday, November 26, 2010
What Are You Giving This Christmas?
From the World's point of view, the Christmas season has begun. Millions of Christmas gifts will be bought today in an effort to show affection toward or please someone.
However, when it comes to gift giving, I think John 3:16 says it best. "For God so LOVED the world that he GAVE..." God gave out of the love that HE IS and can only come from him (1 John 4:7-8).
You will give a lot this Christmas. Are you giving out of that true & godly love, or are you giving from a counterfeit that is based solely on your feelings.
It's not what you give, it's the source from which it's given. The greatest gifts cannot be bought, wrapped, bagged, boxed, checked-out or shipped. The greatest gifts are what you give of yourself in love. God's Love!
Monday, October 4, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
Monday, September 6, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
Monday Marriage Minder - "Borrowed Time
"May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer — may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love."
Proverbs 5:18-19 NIV
"I belong to my lover, and his desire is for me. Come, my lover, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night in the villages. Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom — there I will give you my love."
Song of Solomon 7:10-12 NIV
Proverbs 5:18-19 NIV
"I belong to my lover, and his desire is for me. Come, my lover, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night in the villages. Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom — there I will give you my love."
Song of Solomon 7:10-12 NIV
Wow! I think I might need to open a window. Steamy stuff, smoking off the pages of God's Word. And to think that some people, ignorantly, call God's Word boring. Hardly.
I want to ask you a question. How are you spending your time together as a couple? If you are like Robin and I, your time and attention seems to be always divided and, often, diverted away from the second most important relationship that we have - our relationship with our spouse.
I am writing from recent and current experience. In the midst of the seemingly chaotic days of our life, Robin and I have become painfully aware of the time we are borrowing from "OUR" time.
You know what I am talking about. Instead of stealing moments away together, we continue, full speed ahead, with activities with our kids, house projects, daily chores and the list could go on. Even though these things are important, we often forget to count the cost that is demanded.
The Costs of Borrowing
We are all given 24 hours in a day. Regardless of what anyone says, that 24 hours is the same length for everyone - not one second longer or shorter. We can use our 24 hours to do important things. However, if those important things take over and begin to exclude the urgent need we have for time with our spouse, then we are headed for disaster.
Time, in our current reality, is in a state of constant progression. If we choose to "borrow" the time we could spend with our spouse and use it in another activity, then the relational account we have with our spouse for that day receives a deduction.
String enough withdrawals together, even over a short period of time and a marriage could be headed for bankruptcy.
2. Fatigue
Beyond borrowing time, when we choose another activity other than being with our spouse we have to borrow the energy which could have been used with our spouse - in conversation, in a walk or in an intimate encounter. It all takes energy.
Is it any wonder why so many couples state that they feel so distant from each other? They fall into bed at night, too exhausted - mentally, to even have a coherent conversation; emotionally , to even understand those three little words; and, physically? Dream On!
Our lifestyles in this world of ease and convenience is draining the life out of many marriages.
3. Priority Importance
Priorities are a must for any marriage. I'm not writing about the theoretical but the practical priorities that we strive to live out in our day to day lives.
I recently read a fact that was posted by a friend and fellow marriage ministry provider, Stephen Buckner, that said that couples that pray together are 90% more likely to report high satisfaction in their sex lives than couples who do not pray together. Think about it...
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
Matthew 6:33 NIV
"Delight yourself in the Lord
and he will give you the desires of your heart."
Psalms 37:4 NIV
Matthew 6:33 NIV
"Delight yourself in the Lord
and he will give you the desires of your heart."
Psalms 37:4 NIV
Am I implying that praying together as a couple will automatically result in a more satisfying sex life? Indirectly - Yes!
I submit that those couples who pray together are less concerned with the things that Christ was warning his audience about in the above verse. If they are less concerned with those things they would not be borrowing time and energy from their time with each other to pursue those things.
I like a clean house, a well kept yard, clean dishes and clothes. But we must be careful, we can have all of those things and still end up in marital bankruptcy. On the other hand, stop doing those things and you will experience an equal disaster.
Balance!
I could get into living out the married love described in the Song of Solomon. Instead of living on borrowed time, perhaps we would be better off to begin living on balanced time. Where do we find that balance? Ask that of God in your PRAYER TIME today!
For Marriages,
Dave
Friday, May 14, 2010
Repeating the Important
I recently attended a conference that featured a variety of well-known speakers. One of these speakers was the legendary, Zig Ziglar. I was looking forward to hearing him; however, what I didn't know was that he had fallen a few years ago and has suffered short term memory loss. He speaks with the help of his daughter, who does her best to keep him on track.
With his impaired memory, Zig would keep returning to and reiterating one topic, loving and cherishing your spouse. At the time, I could feel the crowds uneasiness as Zig would repeat what he had just said moments earlier. I felt sad, knowing the history of this great orator and then to see him in a diminished capacity.
Over the last 2 days since the conference; however, I have been contemplating a new perspective. While it wasn't Zig's intent to repeat the same thing over and over, it may have been God's intent to drive a message home to the thousands attending that day.
Success isn't measured by wealth, possessions or even talent. It is measured by God and our relationships with our spouse, family and friends. Are you chasing the important? That is a question worth repeating everyday!
With his impaired memory, Zig would keep returning to and reiterating one topic, loving and cherishing your spouse. At the time, I could feel the crowds uneasiness as Zig would repeat what he had just said moments earlier. I felt sad, knowing the history of this great orator and then to see him in a diminished capacity.
Over the last 2 days since the conference; however, I have been contemplating a new perspective. While it wasn't Zig's intent to repeat the same thing over and over, it may have been God's intent to drive a message home to the thousands attending that day.
Success isn't measured by wealth, possessions or even talent. It is measured by God and our relationships with our spouse, family and friends. Are you chasing the important? That is a question worth repeating everyday!
Monday, May 3, 2010
Monday Marriage Minder - "Stuff to Do For..."
Our daughter, Kaitlin, recently gave Robin and I a note which she entitled, "Stuff to Do For Mom & Dad"
Upon reading it, I immediately realized that the wisdom coming from our nine year-old girl, was worth sharing.
Little did Kaitlin know, her penciled words go far beyond something that a child can do for his/her parents. There are lessons for husbands and wives as well. Well, enough only from me. I will comment on Kaitlin's words.
1. Give him/her the best hug. - Not just a hug - the BEST hug! A hug that far surpasses the mechanical routine we often fall into.
2. Give him/her a kiss. - A kiss is one of the most intimate and demonstrative actions of love and affection that we can give our spouse.
3. Make him/her feel happy. - I love Kaitlin's innocence, here. While we cannot make anyone feel happy, we can strive to be a blessing to our spouse.
4. Help him/her when he/she is sick. - Are we being strong in Christ when our spouse is physically, emotionally or spiritually weak? (Kaitlin added the word "stressed" onto my list - hmm.)
5. Help him/her when something hurts. - For a husband and wife, a good back-rub does wonders for far more than an aching back - just saying...
6. Do something when told to do it. - For husbands and wives, I will exchange the word, "told" for the word, "ask". Personal comment -"Ouch!"
It's amazing what we can learn from a hand-written note from a nine year old child.
For Marriages and Families,
Dave & Kaitlin!
Upon reading it, I immediately realized that the wisdom coming from our nine year-old girl, was worth sharing.
Little did Kaitlin know, her penciled words go far beyond something that a child can do for his/her parents. There are lessons for husbands and wives as well. Well, enough only from me. I will comment on Kaitlin's words.
Stuff to Do For Your Spouse
1. Give him/her the best hug. - Not just a hug - the BEST hug! A hug that far surpasses the mechanical routine we often fall into.
2. Give him/her a kiss. - A kiss is one of the most intimate and demonstrative actions of love and affection that we can give our spouse.
3. Make him/her feel happy. - I love Kaitlin's innocence, here. While we cannot make anyone feel happy, we can strive to be a blessing to our spouse.
4. Help him/her when he/she is sick. - Are we being strong in Christ when our spouse is physically, emotionally or spiritually weak? (Kaitlin added the word "stressed" onto my list - hmm.)
5. Help him/her when something hurts. - For a husband and wife, a good back-rub does wonders for far more than an aching back - just saying...
6. Do something when told to do it. - For husbands and wives, I will exchange the word, "told" for the word, "ask". Personal comment -"Ouch!"
It's amazing what we can learn from a hand-written note from a nine year old child.
For Marriages and Families,
Dave & Kaitlin!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Mini Marriage Minder
"One of the first things a relationship therapist learns is that couples argue to burn up energy that could be used for something else. In fact, arguments often serve the purpose of using up energy, so that the couple do not have to take the courageous, creative leap into an unknown they fear. Arguing serves the function of being a zone of familiarity into which you can retreat when you are afraid of making a creative breakthrough." ~ Gay Hendricks
Monday, April 12, 2010
Monday Marriage Minder - 4-12-2010 "God..."
"Many years later the king of Egypt died. The Israelites groaned under their slavery and cried out. Their cries for relief from their hard labor ascended to God: God listened to their groanings. God remembered his covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob. God saw what was going on with Israel. God understood" Exodus 2: 23-25 (The Message)
Imagine how tough a life of slavery would be - physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Being in bondage and seeing no way out would be enough to completely break a person. I wonder how many of the Israelites were tempted to give up on their prayers for deliverance? Quite a few, I suppose.
I am reminded about how often we find ourselves, or encounter others in discouraging, fearful and, seemingly, hopeless situations in our marriages or family. But, there is good news! Just as God cared for the children of Israel in their bondage to Egypt, God cares for you and I in the problems and situations of our lives.
Look at what the Bible says about our God...
1.God listened - Just as God heard the cries of his people in bondage, he hears our cries and our prayers today. We can be assured that God has his attention directed toward each one of us at all times.
2.God remembered - God remembered his covenant with Abraham and did not abandon his people. Neither has Christ abandoned us or his covenant with us - a covenant written with his own blood. Although there are times in our lives when we feel alone, we can stand convinced that Christ will never leave us or abandon us, at any time.
Imagine how tough a life of slavery would be - physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Being in bondage and seeing no way out would be enough to completely break a person. I wonder how many of the Israelites were tempted to give up on their prayers for deliverance? Quite a few, I suppose.
I am reminded about how often we find ourselves, or encounter others in discouraging, fearful and, seemingly, hopeless situations in our marriages or family. But, there is good news! Just as God cared for the children of Israel in their bondage to Egypt, God cares for you and I in the problems and situations of our lives.
Look at what the Bible says about our God...
1.God listened - Just as God heard the cries of his people in bondage, he hears our cries and our prayers today. We can be assured that God has his attention directed toward each one of us at all times.
2.God remembered - God remembered his covenant with Abraham and did not abandon his people. Neither has Christ abandoned us or his covenant with us - a covenant written with his own blood. Although there are times in our lives when we feel alone, we can stand convinced that Christ will never leave us or abandon us, at any time.
4. God understood - Beyond listening, remembering and seeing, God understands what we are going through no matter how great or how small the circumstance. That's incredible! God is infinitely able to understand, empathize and show compassion to his people. Additionally, when his son, Jesus Christ, became flesh, he also became acquainted with everything we go through on this earth.
No matter what you or someone you know may be going through in your marriage; be it illness, financial strain, betrayal, loneliness or anything- God will listen - talk to him. God will remember - you can count on his promises when you are faithful to him. God sees you- right where you are, in every circumstance and in every need. Finally, God will understand - you can cast ALL your problems on him.
Trust God in your marriage and for your marriage. Live your life, knowing knowing that God is always near and intimately aware of your needs and desires. He loves you that much.
For Marriages and Families,
Dave
Monday, April 5, 2010
Monday Marriage Minder - 4-5-2010 - "Little Things"
"Quick! Catch all the little foxes before they ruin the vineyard of your love, for the grapevines are all in blossom." Song of Solomon 2:15 NLT
Every now and then life presents an opportunity through which we can learn a lesson that will apply to more than just our physical life.
Case in point. This morning, I was explaining to my sons the importance of removing the gravel that our snow-blower transplanted into our yard this past winter, before we cut our grass. I realize that the task of raking each piece of gravel back onto the driveway is not easy. However, the smallest piece of gravel, thrown by a mower blade, can cause big problems. A broken window on our house or on one of our vehicles is the least of our worries. Someone getting hit by a #57 limestone bullet is a down-right scary thought.
Needless to say, the boys did a fine job, and I only remember hearing the blades launch one piece of gravel. However, the importance of removing the gravel from our yard reminded me of how important it is to keep the little things that creep into our lives in check.
God intends married love to blossom and grow with time. But there are little things, such as our attitude, selfishness and the memories of past hurts, that keep many marriages from thriving.
What would happen if, tomorrow we determined that we would not allow the little things that could negatively influence our thoughts and actions to have any power and allowed Christ to remove them from our lives?
First, I believe there would be many surprised and pleased spouses. Second, I know that many marriages would begin to thrive. You see, there are plenty of good, even great, marriages. But relatively few marriages truly thrive.
We spend a great deal of our time focusing on big things while allowing the little things to add up. It is the little things - the little pieces of gravel that rob us in our marriages. If we accumulate enough gravel in the yard of our marriages, some one will, eventually, get hurt when the blade of circumstance hits it.
The verse at the beginning of this devotion depicts those little things as little foxes. Do not let the little foxes or gravel in your marriage ruin it for you and your family.
For Marriages and Families,
Dave
Every now and then life presents an opportunity through which we can learn a lesson that will apply to more than just our physical life.
Case in point. This morning, I was explaining to my sons the importance of removing the gravel that our snow-blower transplanted into our yard this past winter, before we cut our grass. I realize that the task of raking each piece of gravel back onto the driveway is not easy. However, the smallest piece of gravel, thrown by a mower blade, can cause big problems. A broken window on our house or on one of our vehicles is the least of our worries. Someone getting hit by a #57 limestone bullet is a down-right scary thought.
Needless to say, the boys did a fine job, and I only remember hearing the blades launch one piece of gravel. However, the importance of removing the gravel from our yard reminded me of how important it is to keep the little things that creep into our lives in check.
God intends married love to blossom and grow with time. But there are little things, such as our attitude, selfishness and the memories of past hurts, that keep many marriages from thriving.
What would happen if, tomorrow we determined that we would not allow the little things that could negatively influence our thoughts and actions to have any power and allowed Christ to remove them from our lives?
First, I believe there would be many surprised and pleased spouses. Second, I know that many marriages would begin to thrive. You see, there are plenty of good, even great, marriages. But relatively few marriages truly thrive.
We spend a great deal of our time focusing on big things while allowing the little things to add up. It is the little things - the little pieces of gravel that rob us in our marriages. If we accumulate enough gravel in the yard of our marriages, some one will, eventually, get hurt when the blade of circumstance hits it.
The verse at the beginning of this devotion depicts those little things as little foxes. Do not let the little foxes or gravel in your marriage ruin it for you and your family.
For Marriages and Families,
Dave
Monday, March 29, 2010
Monday Marriage Minder - "Love Notes"
"I love you more today than I ever have before. You make me proud to be your wife! You are an awesome Pastor and a great man! You are my everything!"
After I had received and read that text message from my wife last night, I felt as though I could conquer the world. What man wouldn't? What man wouldn't be moved by such affirmation?
Far too often we underestimate the power of our words. Our words can lift someone's spirit to soaring heights, or grind their hearts into despair. No wonder Proverbs 18:21 in The Message, reads...
"Words kill, words give life; they're either poison
or fruit—you choose."
Our words can have a tremendous effect and affect on our marriages. Rather than pick apart my weaknesses, Robin chose words that built me up. Words like, love, proud, awesome, great and everything. Powerful words, and Robin knows that words are my love language.
Even in situations where there may be more negatives than positives present in a marriage, I truly believe that focusing on those positives - praising those words and behaviors that build, rather than destroy - will cause the negatives to eventually shrink out of sight.
For an excellent example of the efficacy of uplifting words in a marriage relationship, read the Song of Songs together as a couple. In this Old Testament book, you will see the playful and loving back-and-forth poetic banter between two lovers. The passages read just like love notes, written and placed in the conspicuous places of that day.
Are you struggling in a certain area of your marriage? Try focusing on and praising your spouse in the areas of your marriage that are good. I believe you will be pleasantly surprised.
No matter if you speak it, write it, text it, tweet it or facebook it, your words can contain life or death, praises or insults. By choosing your words - you choose the effect your words will have. Choose well!
For Marriages and Families,
Dave
or fruit—you choose."
Our words can have a tremendous effect and affect on our marriages. Rather than pick apart my weaknesses, Robin chose words that built me up. Words like, love, proud, awesome, great and everything. Powerful words, and Robin knows that words are my love language.
Even in situations where there may be more negatives than positives present in a marriage, I truly believe that focusing on those positives - praising those words and behaviors that build, rather than destroy - will cause the negatives to eventually shrink out of sight.
For an excellent example of the efficacy of uplifting words in a marriage relationship, read the Song of Songs together as a couple. In this Old Testament book, you will see the playful and loving back-and-forth poetic banter between two lovers. The passages read just like love notes, written and placed in the conspicuous places of that day.
Are you struggling in a certain area of your marriage? Try focusing on and praising your spouse in the areas of your marriage that are good. I believe you will be pleasantly surprised.
No matter if you speak it, write it, text it, tweet it or facebook it, your words can contain life or death, praises or insults. By choosing your words - you choose the effect your words will have. Choose well!
For Marriages and Families,
Dave
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Mini Marriage Minder - Quote-of-the-Day
Have you ever realized how many circumstances of our lives, our marriages and our families are determined by our choices? Joshua had it right - "Choose this day, Whom you will serve!"
Monday, March 15, 2010
Monday Marriage Minder - 3-15-10 "Basic Training"
"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."
Proverbs 22:6 NIV
The verse, above, is often taken as a guarantee that a child raised in a Christian home and taught biblical principals will remain in the faith forever. Surely, teaching our children these things are important to their spiritual formation; however, some parents find themselves at a paradox when a child grows up and does turn away.
While pondering this verse today, the thought struck me that this verse is more of a command than a promise. Instilling Christian values and beliefs in our children is a priority for us parents. Dilligently teaching and demonstrating the parcels of that priority will not be without benefit for the child and reward for the parent.
Teachers will tell you that children learn through many avenues. Sight, touch, hearing, the sense of smell and taste, all lend to the learning experience. The more the senses are applied to learning, the more intense the memory of the lesson(s).
Of course, God knows this, hence the written command in Deuteronomy 6:4-9,
"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates." NIV
If our efforts to train our children are only verbal, containing words that only tell our children what is right, then we are missing opportunities for a greater impact on their young lives.
What would happen if, as husbands, wives and parents, we demonstrated Christ-like behavior through service to others? What if living the Christian life was saturated into our children daily? In doing so, the Gospel becomes far more that words on a page - it truly becomes alive.
We all teach. The question is, will we teach well?
There are plenty of opportunities to teach in word and deed. Your home church, it's ministries, para-church organizations, and various other ministries are great places to get in some basic training.
There was an old saying that stated that,
"The Family that prays together, stays together." Let's take that a bit further. The husband and wife that pray together, teach together, serve together and include their children in the process, will, I believe, stay together.
Living, loving, praying, learning and serving together!
For Marriages and Families,
Dave
Proverbs 22:6 NIV
The verse, above, is often taken as a guarantee that a child raised in a Christian home and taught biblical principals will remain in the faith forever. Surely, teaching our children these things are important to their spiritual formation; however, some parents find themselves at a paradox when a child grows up and does turn away.
While pondering this verse today, the thought struck me that this verse is more of a command than a promise. Instilling Christian values and beliefs in our children is a priority for us parents. Dilligently teaching and demonstrating the parcels of that priority will not be without benefit for the child and reward for the parent.
Teachers will tell you that children learn through many avenues. Sight, touch, hearing, the sense of smell and taste, all lend to the learning experience. The more the senses are applied to learning, the more intense the memory of the lesson(s).
Of course, God knows this, hence the written command in Deuteronomy 6:4-9,
"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates." NIV
If our efforts to train our children are only verbal, containing words that only tell our children what is right, then we are missing opportunities for a greater impact on their young lives.
What would happen if, as husbands, wives and parents, we demonstrated Christ-like behavior through service to others? What if living the Christian life was saturated into our children daily? In doing so, the Gospel becomes far more that words on a page - it truly becomes alive.
We all teach. The question is, will we teach well?
There are plenty of opportunities to teach in word and deed. Your home church, it's ministries, para-church organizations, and various other ministries are great places to get in some basic training.
There was an old saying that stated that,
"The Family that prays together, stays together." Let's take that a bit further. The husband and wife that pray together, teach together, serve together and include their children in the process, will, I believe, stay together.
Living, loving, praying, learning and serving together!
For Marriages and Families,
Dave
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Mini Marriage Minder - Quote-of-the-Day
"The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It's a choice you make - not just on your wedding day, but over and over again -- and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife." ~ Barbara De Angelis
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Mini Marriage Minder - Quote-of-the-Day
"Marriage is the triumph of hope over experience." ~ Samuel Johnson
Who or what is your source for hope?
Who or what is your source for hope?
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Mini Marriage Minder - Quote-of-the-Day
"Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century." ~ Mark Twain
Monday, March 1, 2010
Monday Marriage Minder - "Happy" Series - Part 8 - "Hand-In-Hand"
“God blesses those who are persecuted because they live for God, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.” Matt 5:10 NLT
Of all the stops during this journey, this week’s stop has been on my mind for the entire trip thus far. Sure, I have enjoyed discovering the truths and practices at each stop with you; however, once we continued on in the journey, my mind would immediately be thinking ahead to this stop.
It’s a difficult place, this place called persecution. The very name engenders thoughts that ask me, “What do you know about persecution?”, “How are you being persecuted?” and, “How are you ever going to relate this part of the passage to marriage while still capturing the true heart of this verse?” Good questions, for sure. I'll make a prayerful attempt at answering these questions.
Happiness within the context of a marriage is found close to the heart of God. As each of us draws closer to the heart of God, the more Christ-like become. Subsequently, the more Christ-like we become, the more different we seem to some of the people watching our lives.
This process, while positive, rewarding and necessary, is not free from problems arising from the clash of our beliefs, convictions and lifestyle with those of a differing worldview.
The Apostle Peter, said it best when he wrote:
“Of course, your former friends are very surprised when you no longer join them in the wicked things they do, and they say evil things about you.” 1 Peter 4:4 NLT
Our very lives, as a husbands and wives, will become a testimony to the power of Christ. This testimony, however, will not always be quickly accepted and praised by everyone. Therein lays part of the persecution. Alienation, abandonment and outright accusations may become part of the process.
So what do we do? Do we stop associating with the couples that poke fun at our “religion”? No! It is that same testimony lived in full view of the people within our sphere of influence that will not only lead others to Christ, but lead to our happiness.
Another form of persecution will come in the form of today’s media. Last night, after watching the closing ceremony of the Olympic Games, I watched a new show called “The Marriage Ref”. I have been hearing about this show for weeks and the title, naturally, intrigued me. I was skeptical about the shows pretext. In an attempt to be humorous, the show demonstrated how little value is placed on the covenant of marriage with the host claiming that “anyone who is contemplating marriage, has been married, is married, or is just getting out of a marriage is an expert on marriage.” I winced at that statement.
Can happiness in marriage be found in one spouse being declared the winner while the other – the loser? Sadly, this is where we are as a society. Counseling schedules, courtroom dockets and many forms of media are full of couples who are individually more concerned about winning than they are about their marriage.
All persecution for the Christian, is ultimately directed at Christ. When we stand hand-in-hand as Christian couples, the world will notice and many will be offended because of what our union represents. But, oh the promise that awaits us – the Kingdom of Heaven!
Can I encourage you as couples to, even tonight, reaffirm your covenant with your spouse and declare again that you will continue to stand hand in hand together regardless of what comes your way?
Keep doing that and happiness will be waiting ahead.
The Journey continues…
For Marriages and Families,
Dave
Of all the stops during this journey, this week’s stop has been on my mind for the entire trip thus far. Sure, I have enjoyed discovering the truths and practices at each stop with you; however, once we continued on in the journey, my mind would immediately be thinking ahead to this stop.
It’s a difficult place, this place called persecution. The very name engenders thoughts that ask me, “What do you know about persecution?”, “How are you being persecuted?” and, “How are you ever going to relate this part of the passage to marriage while still capturing the true heart of this verse?” Good questions, for sure. I'll make a prayerful attempt at answering these questions.
Happiness within the context of a marriage is found close to the heart of God. As each of us draws closer to the heart of God, the more Christ-like become. Subsequently, the more Christ-like we become, the more different we seem to some of the people watching our lives.
This process, while positive, rewarding and necessary, is not free from problems arising from the clash of our beliefs, convictions and lifestyle with those of a differing worldview.
The Apostle Peter, said it best when he wrote:
“Of course, your former friends are very surprised when you no longer join them in the wicked things they do, and they say evil things about you.” 1 Peter 4:4 NLT
Our very lives, as a husbands and wives, will become a testimony to the power of Christ. This testimony, however, will not always be quickly accepted and praised by everyone. Therein lays part of the persecution. Alienation, abandonment and outright accusations may become part of the process.
So what do we do? Do we stop associating with the couples that poke fun at our “religion”? No! It is that same testimony lived in full view of the people within our sphere of influence that will not only lead others to Christ, but lead to our happiness.
Another form of persecution will come in the form of today’s media. Last night, after watching the closing ceremony of the Olympic Games, I watched a new show called “The Marriage Ref”. I have been hearing about this show for weeks and the title, naturally, intrigued me. I was skeptical about the shows pretext. In an attempt to be humorous, the show demonstrated how little value is placed on the covenant of marriage with the host claiming that “anyone who is contemplating marriage, has been married, is married, or is just getting out of a marriage is an expert on marriage.” I winced at that statement.
Can happiness in marriage be found in one spouse being declared the winner while the other – the loser? Sadly, this is where we are as a society. Counseling schedules, courtroom dockets and many forms of media are full of couples who are individually more concerned about winning than they are about their marriage.
All persecution for the Christian, is ultimately directed at Christ. When we stand hand-in-hand as Christian couples, the world will notice and many will be offended because of what our union represents. But, oh the promise that awaits us – the Kingdom of Heaven!
Can I encourage you as couples to, even tonight, reaffirm your covenant with your spouse and declare again that you will continue to stand hand in hand together regardless of what comes your way?
Keep doing that and happiness will be waiting ahead.
The Journey continues…
For Marriages and Families,
Dave
Friday, February 26, 2010
Mini-Marriage Minder - Quote of-the-Day
" Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry." - Tom Mullen
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Mini Marriage Minder - Quote-of the Day
"Marriage is not a noun; it's a verb. It isn't something you get. It's something you do. It's the way you love your partner every day." - Barbara De Angelis
Monday, February 22, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Words of Wisdom
"Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming - 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it. 2. Whenever you're right, shut up." - Patrick Murra
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Never Too Early
On Sunday and Monday of this week, I had the pleasure of spending some time with some 5th and 6th graders at a winter retreat. On Monday, at a break-out session for just the guys (yes, the girls had one of there own), we discussed what is expected of a godly man - specifically a godly husband and father.
At one time, the speaker posed this question to the 75+ boys in the group.
Do you dream of becoming a husband and father?
I was amazed as over 3/4 of the group indicated that they did! During the session, I was standing in the back of the room hardly being able to contain my excitement - saying YES! This is what we need to be teaching now.
It is never too early to start teaching what it means to be a godly husband/father or a godly wife/mother to our kids. If this teaching is taking place in the home - great! However, imagine if we start teaching this in our churches and communities. We could see a relationship revolution!
Teach well!
At one time, the speaker posed this question to the 75+ boys in the group.
Do you dream of becoming a husband and father?
I was amazed as over 3/4 of the group indicated that they did! During the session, I was standing in the back of the room hardly being able to contain my excitement - saying YES! This is what we need to be teaching now.
It is never too early to start teaching what it means to be a godly husband/father or a godly wife/mother to our kids. If this teaching is taking place in the home - great! However, imagine if we start teaching this in our churches and communities. We could see a relationship revolution!
Teach well!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
"We"
Yesterday, I attended a meeting of area pastors for a time of prayer, fellowship and discussion. After the meeting I shared my heart and some of the vision God has given us in regard to Binding Hearts.
After just a few minutes of sharing about how God is blessing us with the opportunity to reach more marriages through the Monday Marriage Minder devotional and the subsequent costs involved. Several pastors expressed interest in partnering with us in a very real and tangible way.
God is awesome. I must admit, for much of the past 6 years, we have felt isolated and alone in this ministry. However, we are now feeling the support of our small, but growing partnership base. We know that there are prayers going up, not only on our behalf, but for the marriages that we are ministering to as well.
If you have ever said a prayer for this ministry - YOU are a partner! If you have ever suggested us to your friends and family on facebook or have forwarded the Monday Marriage Minder devotion email to anyone - YOU are a partner.
Finally, if you have donated to this ministry, please know how much this has blessed us and - YOU are a partner.
If you have done any of these three things, we want you to know that there are marriages still intact and thriving today and there will be souls in heaven because of your partnership.
There are many opportunities on the horizon for Binding Hearts and, as we grow, we can begin to expand into those opportunities. If you have not partnered with us in any of these ways, I would like to extend the opportunity to you to do so.
Together, through Christ, WE can make a difference in marriages and families.
Blessings!
For Marriages and Families
Dave & Robin
After just a few minutes of sharing about how God is blessing us with the opportunity to reach more marriages through the Monday Marriage Minder devotional and the subsequent costs involved. Several pastors expressed interest in partnering with us in a very real and tangible way.
God is awesome. I must admit, for much of the past 6 years, we have felt isolated and alone in this ministry. However, we are now feeling the support of our small, but growing partnership base. We know that there are prayers going up, not only on our behalf, but for the marriages that we are ministering to as well.
If you have ever said a prayer for this ministry - YOU are a partner! If you have ever suggested us to your friends and family on facebook or have forwarded the Monday Marriage Minder devotion email to anyone - YOU are a partner.
Finally, if you have donated to this ministry, please know how much this has blessed us and - YOU are a partner.
If you have done any of these three things, we want you to know that there are marriages still intact and thriving today and there will be souls in heaven because of your partnership.
There are many opportunities on the horizon for Binding Hearts and, as we grow, we can begin to expand into those opportunities. If you have not partnered with us in any of these ways, I would like to extend the opportunity to you to do so.
Together, through Christ, WE can make a difference in marriages and families.
Blessings!
For Marriages and Families
Dave & Robin
Monday, February 8, 2010
Monday, February 1, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
Mourning Leads to Happiness?
“God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Matt 5:4 NLT
The second stop on this journey to happiness brings us to somewhat of a paradox. Imagine stepping off of a train that is destined for a place called happiness. It is a pit stop of sorts, one needed to obtain some supplies. In our case, we need to obtain some more information – some additional directions for the journey.
Once off of the train, we look up and see the sign that announces our present location – “Mourning”. So, on a train bound for happiness we are stopped in “Mourning”. Confused? Good! Read On…
Briefly think about the word mourning, what thoughts does this word engender? No doubt our immediate thoughts are not pleasant. Perhaps, we remember a time of loss in our life and rightly so. Losses can be devastating. Losses can crush our spirit and break our hearts.
During times of loss and remembering times of loss can be tough, perhaps that’s why the Psalmist wrote…
"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18 NIV
But, what is it about mourning that makes it an included stop on the journey to happiness?
Remember back to your honeymoon days with your spouse. A time when you could FINALLY be with the one your heart desired - 24/7. Remember those days of happiness with very little responsibility. Breakfast in bed at noon, long walks to nowhere in particular, effort-free dining at great restaurants and the sharing of heart, mind and body in un-interrupted bliss, all combining for an ideal start to your marriage. Then, after a time, reality sets in with its schedules, tasks and responsibilities.
If we are honest and, although we do not regret many of the gifts and blessings that cause those staples of our lives, we begin to mourn the loss of those honeymoon days. Sure, we can re-capture fleeting moments of that time with clever and important devices such as “date-night” and short trips over even shorter weekends, but the reality of our lives always returns.
As great as a honeymoon is, there was a honeymoon far greater. Adam and Eve had a great honeymoon. It was to be their “reality”. They ran around the garden in complete oblivion to the cares we now carry. They spent what would be the epitome of quality time with each other and they actually walked and talked with God. But all of that changed when Adam and Eve chose to give in to the power of sin. Do you think Adam and Eve mourned that loss?
God also mourned that loss. So much so that he immediately put a plan of redemption and reconciliation into place to regain that which was lost – a close, intimate relationship with you and I.
Do you mourn the loss of the relationship we could have had with God? Imagine, God himself was present, physically, emotionally and spiritually with the representation of his relationship with his people – Adam and Eve as husband and wife.
Often, when we mourn, we desire to have that which we have lost back. Do you desire a greater and deeper relationship with your spouse? Then, might I suggest desiring a greater and deeper relationship with God – the author of your marriage.
Mourn that loss of close relationship saying, “God, I want to feel your presence in my life and my marriage.”
Pray together as a husband and wife, desiring that close and intimate relationship with the Lord. Mourn what was lost by desiring to have it back and pursuing it with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength. When you do, God will be near and he will bring his comfort.
The journey continues…
For Marriages and Families,
Dave
The second stop on this journey to happiness brings us to somewhat of a paradox. Imagine stepping off of a train that is destined for a place called happiness. It is a pit stop of sorts, one needed to obtain some supplies. In our case, we need to obtain some more information – some additional directions for the journey.
Once off of the train, we look up and see the sign that announces our present location – “Mourning”. So, on a train bound for happiness we are stopped in “Mourning”. Confused? Good! Read On…
Briefly think about the word mourning, what thoughts does this word engender? No doubt our immediate thoughts are not pleasant. Perhaps, we remember a time of loss in our life and rightly so. Losses can be devastating. Losses can crush our spirit and break our hearts.
During times of loss and remembering times of loss can be tough, perhaps that’s why the Psalmist wrote…
"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18 NIV
But, what is it about mourning that makes it an included stop on the journey to happiness?
Remember back to your honeymoon days with your spouse. A time when you could FINALLY be with the one your heart desired - 24/7. Remember those days of happiness with very little responsibility. Breakfast in bed at noon, long walks to nowhere in particular, effort-free dining at great restaurants and the sharing of heart, mind and body in un-interrupted bliss, all combining for an ideal start to your marriage. Then, after a time, reality sets in with its schedules, tasks and responsibilities.
If we are honest and, although we do not regret many of the gifts and blessings that cause those staples of our lives, we begin to mourn the loss of those honeymoon days. Sure, we can re-capture fleeting moments of that time with clever and important devices such as “date-night” and short trips over even shorter weekends, but the reality of our lives always returns.
As great as a honeymoon is, there was a honeymoon far greater. Adam and Eve had a great honeymoon. It was to be their “reality”. They ran around the garden in complete oblivion to the cares we now carry. They spent what would be the epitome of quality time with each other and they actually walked and talked with God. But all of that changed when Adam and Eve chose to give in to the power of sin. Do you think Adam and Eve mourned that loss?
God also mourned that loss. So much so that he immediately put a plan of redemption and reconciliation into place to regain that which was lost – a close, intimate relationship with you and I.
Do you mourn the loss of the relationship we could have had with God? Imagine, God himself was present, physically, emotionally and spiritually with the representation of his relationship with his people – Adam and Eve as husband and wife.
Often, when we mourn, we desire to have that which we have lost back. Do you desire a greater and deeper relationship with your spouse? Then, might I suggest desiring a greater and deeper relationship with God – the author of your marriage.
Mourn that loss of close relationship saying, “God, I want to feel your presence in my life and my marriage.”
Pray together as a husband and wife, desiring that close and intimate relationship with the Lord. Mourn what was lost by desiring to have it back and pursuing it with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength. When you do, God will be near and he will bring his comfort.
The journey continues…
For Marriages and Families,
Dave
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Declare Your Dependence
Matt 5:3 NLT
God blesses those who realize their need for him,
for the Kingdom of Heaven is given to them.
We are on a journey. I am glad for your company as, together, we learn some things from God’s Word that will strengthen and encourage our marriages and enrich our lives.
Our first stop on the journey towards true happiness is foundational for the miles that lie ahead. Last week, I wrote about how fleeting human happiness can be and the lengths we go to achieve it. We can amass great wealth, great fame and even build a great family and still be relatively void of happiness – true happiness.
True happiness is not momentary, nor is it found in things, or even, our relationships here in this world.
True happiness comes from God – more importantly, our need of Him. We get so wrapped up in trying - Trying to be the best husband/wife, trying to be the best father/mother, trying to be a good worker, pastor, teacher or church member. Simply, trying to be a good Christian can become heavy at times.
There is something liberating in saying, “I can’t do this without you, God.” Once that prayer is uttered, something happens. Something within us breaks and there is a joy that fills our hearts.
Suppose you were assigned a task – let’s say you were given the responsibility of, umm… - peeling several hundred pounds of potatoes (hey, I am an X-Navy guy). One could assume that peeling several hundred pounds of potatoes would be a daunting task. However, how would you feel if someone brought you a peeler machine? Sure, you would still have to move the bags of potatoes, load and empty the machine, dispose of the peels and wash the freshly peeled potatoes, but the task would become much less daunting.
It is the same when we acknowledge our need for God. We still have to make an effort but the heavy parts of our lives are now placed on His broad shoulders. He lightens our load.
Are you struggling to find happiness in your life? “
Cast all our anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7 NIV)
Are you struggling to find happiness in your marriage? Jesus said…
“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:29-30 NIV)
Do not let your struggle for happiness rob you of enjoying the source of joy. Declare your dependence, your marriage’s dependence and your family’s dependence on God. God wants you to realize your need of him in every aspect of your life.
The journey continues…
God blesses those who realize their need for him,
for the Kingdom of Heaven is given to them.
We are on a journey. I am glad for your company as, together, we learn some things from God’s Word that will strengthen and encourage our marriages and enrich our lives.
Our first stop on the journey towards true happiness is foundational for the miles that lie ahead. Last week, I wrote about how fleeting human happiness can be and the lengths we go to achieve it. We can amass great wealth, great fame and even build a great family and still be relatively void of happiness – true happiness.
True happiness is not momentary, nor is it found in things, or even, our relationships here in this world.
True happiness comes from God – more importantly, our need of Him. We get so wrapped up in trying - Trying to be the best husband/wife, trying to be the best father/mother, trying to be a good worker, pastor, teacher or church member. Simply, trying to be a good Christian can become heavy at times.
There is something liberating in saying, “I can’t do this without you, God.” Once that prayer is uttered, something happens. Something within us breaks and there is a joy that fills our hearts.
Suppose you were assigned a task – let’s say you were given the responsibility of, umm… - peeling several hundred pounds of potatoes (hey, I am an X-Navy guy). One could assume that peeling several hundred pounds of potatoes would be a daunting task. However, how would you feel if someone brought you a peeler machine? Sure, you would still have to move the bags of potatoes, load and empty the machine, dispose of the peels and wash the freshly peeled potatoes, but the task would become much less daunting.
It is the same when we acknowledge our need for God. We still have to make an effort but the heavy parts of our lives are now placed on His broad shoulders. He lightens our load.
Are you struggling to find happiness in your life? “
Cast all our anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7 NIV)
Are you struggling to find happiness in your marriage? Jesus said…
“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:29-30 NIV)
Do not let your struggle for happiness rob you of enjoying the source of joy. Declare your dependence, your marriage’s dependence and your family’s dependence on God. God wants you to realize your need of him in every aspect of your life.
The journey continues…
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