It (Love) does not boast, 1 Corinthians 13:4 NIV
An Example From The Boy's Group Home
For over a year, I have been a resident counselor and staff at a Christian Group Home for at-risk boys. For boys, boasting is as commonplace as gravy on mashed potatoes (Sorry, I'm not very good at analogies, or, whatever those things are called). At times, it can be almost comical to listen as the residents strive to position themselves ahead of one another. If this one's mother drives a Camaro, then another one's father drives a Corvette. I'll listen for over 15 minutes as a boy tells me of his heroic exploits, all-the-while knowing that very little of it is true. Often, this "one-upmanship" leads to an altercation between several boys.
In Marriage
"One-upmanship", sadly, finds it's way into many marriages. Sometimes, in our human weakness, we tend to "keep track" of what we do and then brag to our spouse or others about it. "I do this, I do that and I do more than you and I even do it better." I've heard it all-to often in counseling sessions. My colleagues in pastoral counseling ministry echo my experience. I've, ashamedly, caught myself doing it.
It happens for a reason, a reason that has surfaced in nearly every aspect of these verses in 1 Corinthians, chapter 13. The reason, again, is I . The Apostle Paul positioned these verses after a discourse on the diverse gifts of the Holy Spirit and the unity of the church. It was meant to focus one's attention away from I and place it on WE.
Rather than wanting to be recognized as the achievers, the ultra-gifted or the knowledgeable, Paul shows the early church audience that each has a part and in essence, the church is a team. Just as the church is a team, so is a marriage. We don't need to verbally or by our actions, draw attention to ourselves. Instead of boasting about what we do in our marriage and family, what would happen if we began focusing on all that our spouse does for the same cause. In doing so, I becomes WE .
Question of The Week: In what ways has "One-upmanship" and boasting hindered your marriage? Talk with your spouse about it.
Dave
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