"But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!"
Galatians 5:22-23 NLT
Galatians 5:22-23 NLT
Have you ever gone to the cupboard for a box of cereal, only to find a near empty inner bag containing a small portion of fractured pieces that is often more dust than cereal? Frustrating and disappointing, is it not?
Sadly, as inconsequential as a wee bit of cereal is, we often experience, to a much greater degree, the feelings of disappointment, loss and disconnection when the amount of kindness present within the confines of our marital box is in short supply.
When such is the case, it feels as though someone has jumped up and down on our box - crushing the life-giving substance to the point that it is beyond use or worth.
This lack of kindness is ruining marriages at an alarming rate today. When this Fruit of the Spirit is not being manifested in our marriage, there is a bone and relationship-chilling coldness that creeps into our hearts and lives.
I remember watching a music video in which the main character, a man, was sitting at a bar, peeling the label off of a bottle while singing these words...
"Well, it's too hot to fish,
too hot for golf
and too cold at home."
We have all been there. An icy stare, a cold and thoughtless remark. Well, remarks are seldom thoughtless, I mean, we do have to think it before we say it. Failing to show kindness is often just as intentional as showing kindness. It is, most often, pre-meditated. We plan to show kindness or a lack of kindness to our spouse in an attempt to bless, love and cherish, or, conversely, to manipulate, seek revenge and hurt.
Kindness is an intentional thing. It is not something that just happens. Throughout scripture, God showed his kindness to his people. He chose to do it.
What is amazing to me is the fact that showing kindness attracts. It attracts people, it positively affects relationships and it builds bridges of growth and peace.
On the other hand, a lack of kindness, will tear down and destroy. Even the strongest of persons will eventually wear and break in an atmosphere where kindness is in want.
Think of it this way. What attracted you to Christ? Was it because that he is the all-powerful Son of God? Or was it his kindness - the kindness that demonstrated his love for us that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8) That is true kindness.
He showed kindness to us even while we were not deserving. He continues to do this and we still are not deserving. Do not miss the significance of Christ's example here. Are we ever tempted to only demonstrate kindness when we feel our spouse deserves our kindness? In light of Christ's example, who are we to do that?
Real life questions. When you and your spouse get home today, what will the both of you come home to? Will your spiritual, relational and physical home be filled with kindness and warmth? Or will the icy and willful condition of your hearts liken the environment to the chilly conditions outside of our house today?
This is one "Fruit Loop" that can yield amazing results when we apply it. When we choose to show kindness, with time, it becomes reciprocal, and even if it does not, Christ's kindness will continue to be extended to you.
You choose,
For Marriages,
Dave & Robin
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