Mini Marriage Minder

"One of the first things a relationship therapist learns is that couples argue to burn up energy that could be used for something else. In fact, arguments often serve the purpose of using up energy, so that the couple do not have to take the courageous, creative leap into an unknown they fear. Arguing serves the function of being a zone of familiarity into which you can retreat when you are afraid of making a creative breakthrough." ~ Gay Hendricks

Monday Marriage Minder - 4-12-2010 "God..."

"Many years later the king of Egypt died. The Israelites groaned under their slavery and cried out. Their cries for relief from their hard labor ascended to God: God listened to their groanings. God remembered his covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob. God saw what was going on with Israel. God understood" Exodus 2: 23-25 (The Message)

Imagine how tough a life of slavery would be - physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Being in bondage and seeing no way out would be enough to completely break a person. I wonder how many of the Israelites were tempted to give up on their prayers for deliverance? Quite a few, I suppose.

I am reminded about how often we find ourselves, or encounter others in discouraging, fearful and, seemingly, hopeless situations in our marriages or family. But, there is good news! Just as God cared for the children of Israel in their bondage to Egypt, God cares for you and I in the problems and situations of our lives.

Look at what the Bible says about our God...

1.God listened - Just as God heard the cries of his people in bondage, he hears our cries and our prayers today. We can be assured that God has his attention directed toward each one of us at all times.

2.God remembered - God remembered his covenant with Abraham and did not abandon his people. Neither has Christ abandoned us or his covenant with us - a covenant written with his own blood. Although there are times in our lives when we feel alone, we can stand convinced that Christ will never leave us or abandon us, at any time.

3.God saw - God was fully aware of his people's situation and, at the proper time, he acted upon what he saw. Isn't it awesome to know that God is looking at us, right now? He knows our needs, our feelings and our desires. He sees us!

4. God understood - Beyond listening, remembering and seeing, God understands what we are going through no matter how great or how small the circumstance. That's incredible! God is infinitely able to understand, empathize and show compassion to his people. Additionally, when his son, Jesus Christ, became flesh, he also became acquainted with everything we go through on this earth.

No matter what you or someone you know may be going through in your marriage; be it illness, financial strain, betrayal, loneliness or anything- God will listen - talk to him. God will remember - you can count on his promises when you are faithful to him. God sees you- right where you are, in every circumstance and in every need. Finally, God will understand - you can cast ALL your problems on him.

Trust God in your marriage and for your marriage. Live your life, knowing knowing that God is always near and intimately aware of your needs and desires. He loves you that much.


For Marriages and Families,

Dave

Monday Marriage Minder - 4-5-2010 - "Little Things"

"Quick! Catch all the little foxes before they ruin the vineyard of your love, for the grapevines are all in blossom." Song of Solomon 2:15 NLT


Every now and then life presents an opportunity through which we can learn a lesson that will apply to more than just our physical life.

Case in point. This morning, I was explaining to my sons the importance of removing the gravel that our snow-blower transplanted into our yard this past winter, before we cut our grass. I realize that the task of raking each piece of gravel back onto the driveway is not easy. However, the smallest piece of gravel, thrown by a mower blade, can cause big problems. A broken window on our house or on one of our vehicles is the least of our worries. Someone getting hit by a #57 limestone bullet is a down-right scary thought.

Needless to say, the boys did a fine job, and I only remember hearing the blades launch one piece of gravel. However, the importance of removing the gravel from our yard reminded me of how important it is to keep the little things that creep into our lives in check.

God intends married love to blossom and grow with time. But there are little things, such as our attitude, selfishness and the memories of past hurts, that keep many marriages from thriving.

What would happen if, tomorrow we determined that we would not allow the little things that could negatively influence our thoughts and actions to have any power and allowed Christ to remove them from our lives?

First, I believe there would be many surprised and pleased spouses. Second, I know that many marriages would begin to thrive. You see, there are plenty of good, even great, marriages. But relatively few marriages truly thrive.

We spend a great deal of our time focusing on big things while allowing the little things to add up. It is the little things - the little pieces of gravel that rob us in our marriages. If we accumulate enough gravel in the yard of our marriages, some one will, eventually, get hurt when the blade of circumstance hits it.

The verse at the beginning of this devotion depicts those little things as little foxes. Do not let the little foxes or gravel in your marriage ruin it for you and your family.

For Marriages and Families,

Dave