Monday Marriage Minder 11-30-09 "Integrity"

Good people are guided by their honesty; treacherous people are destroyed by their dishonesty. Proverbs 11:3 NLT

Our daughter, Kaitlin, is in her room, crying, as I write this. Saturday evening, she discovered a book in her bookcase, belonging to her 2nd-grade teacher who taught her last year. Apparently, she had forgotten that she had it and didn't take it back.
Kaitlin wants to take it back but she is afraid that she will get a mark against her perfect behavioral record.

As a parent, I would like to tell her, with absolute certainty, that nothing bad will happen by returning a book that she accidentally still has possession of. However, I do not know, with absolute certainty, that there will be no disciplinary action. I really cannot imagine such will be the case but I simply do not know.

Tomorrow morning, on the first day back to school from Thanksgiving break, she will return the book to it's owner. It is a scary lesson to learn but learning to be a person of integrity is a noble pursuit.

Far too often, children hear, or worse, see their parents fail at maintaining a character of integrity. From simply borrowing a few nuts and bolts from work to not wanting the hassle or inconvenience of returning the amount of money that was mistakenly given them in making change; adults display flawed character and the kids are quick to learn it.

So this is a opportunity to teach by example. I will take Kaitlin to school, go through the front office visitor screening, walk with her to the teacher's classroom and be with her as she returns the book. Whatever happens, I want her to know that she did the right thing and that I am proud of her.

As parents, grandparents and adults, please know that children, yours and others, are watching you. They are learning by observation about your true character. Just as I am showing Kaitlin the importance of returning what is not hers, we need to set a consistent example of integrity for this young generation.

The above verse speaks of two types of character. One is honest and the other dishonest. I'm convinced that dishonesty is not learned from a single and large event witnessed in a role model's life, but a lifestyle of numerous and seemingly insignificant incidents of dishonesty.

As parents, grandparents and adults, the question is not if we will be role models, but, what kind of role models we will be. Children learn their future roles by watching us.

Do you, as a role model, model a character of integrity?

For Marriages and Families,

Dave

Monday Marriage Minder - 11-16-09 - "Laugh"

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person's strength. Prov 17:22 NLT

Last Month, Robin and I purchased a new computer which has some really cool features. Robin and the kids have been having some fun with the built-in web cam - making funny videos with strange voices etc.

A few nights ago, after watching videos of Robin and Alex sing Amazing Grace, The Lollipop Guild and others-in munchkin voices, Robin was recording a video where the program made her voice sound like a duck. Being the goofball I am, I couldn't resist coming up from behind, getting in the video and yelling the loudest, "Quack-Quack-Quack", that I could.

Upon replaying the video my voice-turned-duck, sounded hilarious! We all laughed so hard that our stomachs began to hurt. It was good to laugh, it changed our whole attitude and added life to our evening.

The next evening, after a long day at work, Robin came home and said that she had left work hoping that I would make her laugh again.

So often, our lives are so stressful that we forget to laugh. Even something as silly as sounding like a duck can melt away the tension of a day.

Most couples can think back to when they first met and remember times that they spent laughing. When asked, "What attracted you to him/her?" One of the most common responses that husbands and wives give is, "He/She makes me laugh!"

Are you or is your marriage relationship tired and broken in spirit? Look for something funny (life is full of funny things), watch something funny or do something funny. Don't forget to laugh - together!

For Marriages and Families,

Dave

Monday Marriage Minder 11-9-09 "It Is Not Good"

The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
Genesis 2:18 NIV

For the past few weeks, due to colds, the kids' practice schedules and various obligations, Robin and I have been busy with the fast pace of our lives - meeting in passing and giving each other a quick kiss hello or goodbye.

For the past two Sundays, Robin has either not been able to attend church or has had to leave early. We certainly do not begrudge any of the activities our kids are in; however, I never quite feel complete without Robin close to me.

Sure, it's church, I'm surrounded by a family that loves me and I them, but without Robin's presence I misfire a bit and typically feel somewhat lost.

In thinking about this, what I feel goes far beyond anything Robin does, or, in her absence, does not do. Simply having her near is energizing and I am more focused and can accomplish far more tasks than I could without her.

I believe God knew this about us men, and uniquely gifted women to be an equal counterpart. Too often, I take for granted the gift God gave me in Robin. All she has to do is be herself and that helps me be a better person. I have learned that her counsel is wise and she seldom misses the mark when it comes to encouraging me and reading people.

Husbands, appreciate your wife's unique giftings and remember that she truly wants to help you become all that God wants you to be. God has well equipped her for that task.

For Marriages and Families,

Dave