Monday Marriage Minder - Disappointed

(Read Phillipians-Chapter 3)
Phil 3:12-14 NIV
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

In his book The Life You've Always Wanted - Spiritual Disciplines for Ordinary People, John Ortberg begins the first chapter by penning the words, "I'm disappointed". With the exception of God's Word - the Bible, I do not recall a book that has spiritually bloodied and battered me as much as the first few pages of this book have. You see, I immediately connected with Ortberg's sentiment -"I'm disappointed".

I am disappointed that I am not a better husband. I am disappointed that I am not a better Father. I am disappointed that I am not a better Son, friend, pastor, counselor, and student. I am disappointed that I am not BETTER, period. What has hurt the most is the fact that I am not a better Christian. I am not what I could be and should be; falling far short of all that God has called me to be. Am I better than I once was? I think so. But, I can be better!

Far too many times in life, we fall prey to the attitude that says we're "good enough” or, “good enough because it would be too hard to be better”. This affects every aspect of our life. I am not a better husband because I allow my "self" to get in the way. I am not a better Father because being better would require shifting my focus away from myself. On and on it goes to the same end - I am my own worst enemy. Whether it's partner, parent or pastor, at the end of the day I still have more questions than answers and more struggles than strengths.

I think that is why the Apostle Paul, the self proclaimed worst of all sinners, wrote these words. In them, he says, "I am not there yet, but I am trying!" Although he learned to be content in whatever earthly situation and surrounding, he never was content in his spiritual growth in Christ. He realized the value in becoming more like Christ and, increasingly, so am I. If I become more Christ-like, I will become better in every aspect of my life.

For years I have used the old pyramid diagram when counseling couples. If a husband and wife each form one of the bottom corners of the pyramid and God is represented by the point at the top; as each person comes closer to God they automatically come closer to each other. My point is this. I am not as close to God as I can be, so I am obviously not as close to Robin as I could be.

My prayer is that I will always be disappointed. Are you disappointed?

Stepping It Up!

I took a step of faith today. I have been praying and sensing the Holy Spirit's leading to expand the marriage ministry to which God has called us. After a month of prayer, I finally sent out our new brochure offering to minister to marriages in any church.

A member at one church which recently asked us to come and do a conference wanted to know how much we "charged" to speak at a conference. I looked at Robin, Robin looked at me, we both blinked and, simultaneously, our minds shifted into neutral. Uhhh...

I was the first to speak ( I hate it when I do that) How about $100.00 for a weekend? Robin looked at me like I was nuts. She was right, I am nuts. $100.00 was way to much. Robin and I have been called by God to minister to those marriages that are falling through the cracks due to job losses and the subsequent loss of insurance coverage which makes many of the good ministries currently available, cost prohibitive.

We decided, right then and there, we would continue ministering to all couples and let God take care of the rest. We have never set a fee for counseling, mentoring, speaking or writing (95% free-of-charge) and God has been more than faithful.

I do not know what type of responses I will receive from the churches, if any; but God will continue to draw hurting people and couples to us so that we may be faithful and obedient to his call.

How's Your Aim? - Our Greatest Responsibility and Ministry

Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth.
Ps 127:3-4 NIV

Saturday night, we went to a friend's (yes we have friends) birthday party at a banquet hall. Being in a public facility, when the need arose, I took our son, Alex, to the restroom. As we walked, I said something silly to which he responded back with silliness far surpassing anything I could come up with.

I do not recall how the subject came up, but in between the silliness, I told him that two of my favorite things in life were being a husband to his mother and being his father. He looked at me and asked, "Even more than being a rock star?" I have no idea where that came from.

When we returned to our home that evening, I heard Alex telling my wife, Robin, what I had said. I think that he felt even more loved and secure by that simple statement made from a man who still has more questions than answers.

Yesterday, during our morning church service, we had a baby dedication. I used the above verse on the picture we projected during the dedication. As I was preparing that picture, I realized that if children are like arrows, than I, as their father, have the responsibility of aiming our children toward God and his will for their young lives. If I aim them at Christ, chances are they will become godly young men and a godly young lady. However, if I aim them at anything else...

There are three things that I want our children to always know and remember about their father. That I love God, I love their mother and that I love them! You see what I'm aiming them at? I want them to grow up and exhibit those same qualities to God, their spouse and their children.

How's your aim?

Adapted from the MONDAY MARRIAGE MINDER free e-letter. To subscribe send an email to revdkidd@gmail.com with Subscribe MMM in the subject line.