Too Much of a Good Thing

In my writing, I am often accused of being hard on husbands and easy on wives. While there is probably some truth to those accusations, I do, on occasion, make an attempt to speak some life into wives. Please allow me to do that today.

I am always amazed at how gifted my wife is at juggling all her different roles in life. Wife, Mother, worker, pastor's wife, ministry leader, homemaker and friend. Without a doubt, Robin is a Proverbs 31 woman, with an incredible work ethic. She wears every hat of her life with excellence and looks mighty fine in each one.

However, even though that characteristic is a strength and is very desirable in a wife, the extreme of that characteristic can lead to trouble.

Too often, couples come to us who are in marriages that have gone stale - that have lost their spark. A reoccurring trait in the marriages of many of these couples is that they suffer from priority issues.

Clean dishes and clean kids are important, as are regular meals and folded laundry. But, I'm guessing that husbands across the country would be thrilled to have that one on one time with their wife - over a pristine living room and a 5 course meal.

A wise husband would do well to ease his wife's load by helping with projects and the daily things that need done. But, when the time created by doing so is habitually used to tack on additional projects instead of connecting relationally or intimately, the husband receives a message that the wife never truly intended to send.

Wives, are you showing your husband that you value him over projects, chores, daily routines and schedules? Does this mean that you should drop everything and whisk your husband off to the bedroom when he would least suspect it? Every once in a while - YES!

God has given you, as a woman and as a wife, a nurturing spirit. And as a husband, I thank God for it. It is in your nature to serve your family - desiring to meet their needs.

Remember to prioritize those needs from time to time. Want to be a great wife? Show your husband that he means more to you and you desire to be with him more than you do matching socks in the laundry sometime this week. Meet his need to be with you.

Also, when your husbands does help with projects and other tasks, it typically means two things.
1. I love you and I want to serve you by helping you.
2. I love you and I want some time with you.

In your husband's mind, being with you is a good thing that he can never get too much of.