"strengthening marriages and binding broken hearts"
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
Mourning Leads to Happiness?
“God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Matt 5:4 NLT
The second stop on this journey to happiness brings us to somewhat of a paradox. Imagine stepping off of a train that is destined for a place called happiness. It is a pit stop of sorts, one needed to obtain some supplies. In our case, we need to obtain some more information – some additional directions for the journey.
Once off of the train, we look up and see the sign that announces our present location – “Mourning”. So, on a train bound for happiness we are stopped in “Mourning”. Confused? Good! Read On…
Briefly think about the word mourning, what thoughts does this word engender? No doubt our immediate thoughts are not pleasant. Perhaps, we remember a time of loss in our life and rightly so. Losses can be devastating. Losses can crush our spirit and break our hearts.
During times of loss and remembering times of loss can be tough, perhaps that’s why the Psalmist wrote…
"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18 NIV
But, what is it about mourning that makes it an included stop on the journey to happiness?
Remember back to your honeymoon days with your spouse. A time when you could FINALLY be with the one your heart desired - 24/7. Remember those days of happiness with very little responsibility. Breakfast in bed at noon, long walks to nowhere in particular, effort-free dining at great restaurants and the sharing of heart, mind and body in un-interrupted bliss, all combining for an ideal start to your marriage. Then, after a time, reality sets in with its schedules, tasks and responsibilities.
If we are honest and, although we do not regret many of the gifts and blessings that cause those staples of our lives, we begin to mourn the loss of those honeymoon days. Sure, we can re-capture fleeting moments of that time with clever and important devices such as “date-night” and short trips over even shorter weekends, but the reality of our lives always returns.
As great as a honeymoon is, there was a honeymoon far greater. Adam and Eve had a great honeymoon. It was to be their “reality”. They ran around the garden in complete oblivion to the cares we now carry. They spent what would be the epitome of quality time with each other and they actually walked and talked with God. But all of that changed when Adam and Eve chose to give in to the power of sin. Do you think Adam and Eve mourned that loss?
God also mourned that loss. So much so that he immediately put a plan of redemption and reconciliation into place to regain that which was lost – a close, intimate relationship with you and I.
Do you mourn the loss of the relationship we could have had with God? Imagine, God himself was present, physically, emotionally and spiritually with the representation of his relationship with his people – Adam and Eve as husband and wife.
Often, when we mourn, we desire to have that which we have lost back. Do you desire a greater and deeper relationship with your spouse? Then, might I suggest desiring a greater and deeper relationship with God – the author of your marriage.
Mourn that loss of close relationship saying, “God, I want to feel your presence in my life and my marriage.”
Pray together as a husband and wife, desiring that close and intimate relationship with the Lord. Mourn what was lost by desiring to have it back and pursuing it with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength. When you do, God will be near and he will bring his comfort.
The journey continues…
For Marriages and Families,
Dave
The second stop on this journey to happiness brings us to somewhat of a paradox. Imagine stepping off of a train that is destined for a place called happiness. It is a pit stop of sorts, one needed to obtain some supplies. In our case, we need to obtain some more information – some additional directions for the journey.
Once off of the train, we look up and see the sign that announces our present location – “Mourning”. So, on a train bound for happiness we are stopped in “Mourning”. Confused? Good! Read On…
Briefly think about the word mourning, what thoughts does this word engender? No doubt our immediate thoughts are not pleasant. Perhaps, we remember a time of loss in our life and rightly so. Losses can be devastating. Losses can crush our spirit and break our hearts.
During times of loss and remembering times of loss can be tough, perhaps that’s why the Psalmist wrote…
"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18 NIV
But, what is it about mourning that makes it an included stop on the journey to happiness?
Remember back to your honeymoon days with your spouse. A time when you could FINALLY be with the one your heart desired - 24/7. Remember those days of happiness with very little responsibility. Breakfast in bed at noon, long walks to nowhere in particular, effort-free dining at great restaurants and the sharing of heart, mind and body in un-interrupted bliss, all combining for an ideal start to your marriage. Then, after a time, reality sets in with its schedules, tasks and responsibilities.
If we are honest and, although we do not regret many of the gifts and blessings that cause those staples of our lives, we begin to mourn the loss of those honeymoon days. Sure, we can re-capture fleeting moments of that time with clever and important devices such as “date-night” and short trips over even shorter weekends, but the reality of our lives always returns.
As great as a honeymoon is, there was a honeymoon far greater. Adam and Eve had a great honeymoon. It was to be their “reality”. They ran around the garden in complete oblivion to the cares we now carry. They spent what would be the epitome of quality time with each other and they actually walked and talked with God. But all of that changed when Adam and Eve chose to give in to the power of sin. Do you think Adam and Eve mourned that loss?
God also mourned that loss. So much so that he immediately put a plan of redemption and reconciliation into place to regain that which was lost – a close, intimate relationship with you and I.
Do you mourn the loss of the relationship we could have had with God? Imagine, God himself was present, physically, emotionally and spiritually with the representation of his relationship with his people – Adam and Eve as husband and wife.
Often, when we mourn, we desire to have that which we have lost back. Do you desire a greater and deeper relationship with your spouse? Then, might I suggest desiring a greater and deeper relationship with God – the author of your marriage.
Mourn that loss of close relationship saying, “God, I want to feel your presence in my life and my marriage.”
Pray together as a husband and wife, desiring that close and intimate relationship with the Lord. Mourn what was lost by desiring to have it back and pursuing it with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength. When you do, God will be near and he will bring his comfort.
The journey continues…
For Marriages and Families,
Dave
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Declare Your Dependence
Matt 5:3 NLT
God blesses those who realize their need for him,
for the Kingdom of Heaven is given to them.
We are on a journey. I am glad for your company as, together, we learn some things from God’s Word that will strengthen and encourage our marriages and enrich our lives.
Our first stop on the journey towards true happiness is foundational for the miles that lie ahead. Last week, I wrote about how fleeting human happiness can be and the lengths we go to achieve it. We can amass great wealth, great fame and even build a great family and still be relatively void of happiness – true happiness.
True happiness is not momentary, nor is it found in things, or even, our relationships here in this world.
True happiness comes from God – more importantly, our need of Him. We get so wrapped up in trying - Trying to be the best husband/wife, trying to be the best father/mother, trying to be a good worker, pastor, teacher or church member. Simply, trying to be a good Christian can become heavy at times.
There is something liberating in saying, “I can’t do this without you, God.” Once that prayer is uttered, something happens. Something within us breaks and there is a joy that fills our hearts.
Suppose you were assigned a task – let’s say you were given the responsibility of, umm… - peeling several hundred pounds of potatoes (hey, I am an X-Navy guy). One could assume that peeling several hundred pounds of potatoes would be a daunting task. However, how would you feel if someone brought you a peeler machine? Sure, you would still have to move the bags of potatoes, load and empty the machine, dispose of the peels and wash the freshly peeled potatoes, but the task would become much less daunting.
It is the same when we acknowledge our need for God. We still have to make an effort but the heavy parts of our lives are now placed on His broad shoulders. He lightens our load.
Are you struggling to find happiness in your life? “
Cast all our anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7 NIV)
Are you struggling to find happiness in your marriage? Jesus said…
“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:29-30 NIV)
Do not let your struggle for happiness rob you of enjoying the source of joy. Declare your dependence, your marriage’s dependence and your family’s dependence on God. God wants you to realize your need of him in every aspect of your life.
The journey continues…
God blesses those who realize their need for him,
for the Kingdom of Heaven is given to them.
We are on a journey. I am glad for your company as, together, we learn some things from God’s Word that will strengthen and encourage our marriages and enrich our lives.
Our first stop on the journey towards true happiness is foundational for the miles that lie ahead. Last week, I wrote about how fleeting human happiness can be and the lengths we go to achieve it. We can amass great wealth, great fame and even build a great family and still be relatively void of happiness – true happiness.
True happiness is not momentary, nor is it found in things, or even, our relationships here in this world.
True happiness comes from God – more importantly, our need of Him. We get so wrapped up in trying - Trying to be the best husband/wife, trying to be the best father/mother, trying to be a good worker, pastor, teacher or church member. Simply, trying to be a good Christian can become heavy at times.
There is something liberating in saying, “I can’t do this without you, God.” Once that prayer is uttered, something happens. Something within us breaks and there is a joy that fills our hearts.
Suppose you were assigned a task – let’s say you were given the responsibility of, umm… - peeling several hundred pounds of potatoes (hey, I am an X-Navy guy). One could assume that peeling several hundred pounds of potatoes would be a daunting task. However, how would you feel if someone brought you a peeler machine? Sure, you would still have to move the bags of potatoes, load and empty the machine, dispose of the peels and wash the freshly peeled potatoes, but the task would become much less daunting.
It is the same when we acknowledge our need for God. We still have to make an effort but the heavy parts of our lives are now placed on His broad shoulders. He lightens our load.
Are you struggling to find happiness in your life? “
Cast all our anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7 NIV)
Are you struggling to find happiness in your marriage? Jesus said…
“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:29-30 NIV)
Do not let your struggle for happiness rob you of enjoying the source of joy. Declare your dependence, your marriage’s dependence and your family’s dependence on God. God wants you to realize your need of him in every aspect of your life.
The journey continues…
Monday, November 30, 2009
Monday Marriage Minder 11-30-09 "Integrity"
Good people are guided by their honesty; treacherous people are destroyed by their dishonesty. Proverbs 11:3 NLT
Our daughter, Kaitlin, is in her room, crying, as I write this. Saturday evening, she discovered a book in her bookcase, belonging to her 2nd-grade teacher who taught her last year. Apparently, she had forgotten that she had it and didn't take it back.
Kaitlin wants to take it back but she is afraid that she will get a mark against her perfect behavioral record.
As a parent, I would like to tell her, with absolute certainty, that nothing bad will happen by returning a book that she accidentally still has possession of. However, I do not know, with absolute certainty, that there will be no disciplinary action. I really cannot imagine such will be the case but I simply do not know.
Tomorrow morning, on the first day back to school from Thanksgiving break, she will return the book to it's owner. It is a scary lesson to learn but learning to be a person of integrity is a noble pursuit.
Far too often, children hear, or worse, see their parents fail at maintaining a character of integrity. From simply borrowing a few nuts and bolts from work to not wanting the hassle or inconvenience of returning the amount of money that was mistakenly given them in making change; adults display flawed character and the kids are quick to learn it.
So this is a opportunity to teach by example. I will take Kaitlin to school, go through the front office visitor screening, walk with her to the teacher's classroom and be with her as she returns the book. Whatever happens, I want her to know that she did the right thing and that I am proud of her.
As parents, grandparents and adults, please know that children, yours and others, are watching you. They are learning by observation about your true character. Just as I am showing Kaitlin the importance of returning what is not hers, we need to set a consistent example of integrity for this young generation.
The above verse speaks of two types of character. One is honest and the other dishonest. I'm convinced that dishonesty is not learned from a single and large event witnessed in a role model's life, but a lifestyle of numerous and seemingly insignificant incidents of dishonesty.
As parents, grandparents and adults, the question is not if we will be role models, but, what kind of role models we will be. Children learn their future roles by watching us.
Do you, as a role model, model a character of integrity?
For Marriages and Families,
Dave
Our daughter, Kaitlin, is in her room, crying, as I write this. Saturday evening, she discovered a book in her bookcase, belonging to her 2nd-grade teacher who taught her last year. Apparently, she had forgotten that she had it and didn't take it back.
Kaitlin wants to take it back but she is afraid that she will get a mark against her perfect behavioral record.
As a parent, I would like to tell her, with absolute certainty, that nothing bad will happen by returning a book that she accidentally still has possession of. However, I do not know, with absolute certainty, that there will be no disciplinary action. I really cannot imagine such will be the case but I simply do not know.
Tomorrow morning, on the first day back to school from Thanksgiving break, she will return the book to it's owner. It is a scary lesson to learn but learning to be a person of integrity is a noble pursuit.
Far too often, children hear, or worse, see their parents fail at maintaining a character of integrity. From simply borrowing a few nuts and bolts from work to not wanting the hassle or inconvenience of returning the amount of money that was mistakenly given them in making change; adults display flawed character and the kids are quick to learn it.
So this is a opportunity to teach by example. I will take Kaitlin to school, go through the front office visitor screening, walk with her to the teacher's classroom and be with her as she returns the book. Whatever happens, I want her to know that she did the right thing and that I am proud of her.
As parents, grandparents and adults, please know that children, yours and others, are watching you. They are learning by observation about your true character. Just as I am showing Kaitlin the importance of returning what is not hers, we need to set a consistent example of integrity for this young generation.
The above verse speaks of two types of character. One is honest and the other dishonest. I'm convinced that dishonesty is not learned from a single and large event witnessed in a role model's life, but a lifestyle of numerous and seemingly insignificant incidents of dishonesty.
As parents, grandparents and adults, the question is not if we will be role models, but, what kind of role models we will be. Children learn their future roles by watching us.
Do you, as a role model, model a character of integrity?
For Marriages and Families,
Dave
Monday, November 16, 2009
Monday Marriage Minder - 11-16-09 - "Laugh"
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person's strength. Prov 17:22 NLT
Last Month, Robin and I purchased a new computer which has some really cool features. Robin and the kids have been having some fun with the built-in web cam - making funny videos with strange voices etc.
A few nights ago, after watching videos of Robin and Alex sing Amazing Grace, The Lollipop Guild and others-in munchkin voices, Robin was recording a video where the program made her voice sound like a duck. Being the goofball I am, I couldn't resist coming up from behind, getting in the video and yelling the loudest, "Quack-Quack-Quack", that I could.
Upon replaying the video my voice-turned-duck, sounded hilarious! We all laughed so hard that our stomachs began to hurt. It was good to laugh, it changed our whole attitude and added life to our evening.
The next evening, after a long day at work, Robin came home and said that she had left work hoping that I would make her laugh again.
So often, our lives are so stressful that we forget to laugh. Even something as silly as sounding like a duck can melt away the tension of a day.
Most couples can think back to when they first met and remember times that they spent laughing. When asked, "What attracted you to him/her?" One of the most common responses that husbands and wives give is, "He/She makes me laugh!"
Are you or is your marriage relationship tired and broken in spirit? Look for something funny (life is full of funny things), watch something funny or do something funny. Don't forget to laugh - together!
For Marriages and Families,
Dave
Last Month, Robin and I purchased a new computer which has some really cool features. Robin and the kids have been having some fun with the built-in web cam - making funny videos with strange voices etc.
A few nights ago, after watching videos of Robin and Alex sing Amazing Grace, The Lollipop Guild and others-in munchkin voices, Robin was recording a video where the program made her voice sound like a duck. Being the goofball I am, I couldn't resist coming up from behind, getting in the video and yelling the loudest, "Quack-Quack-Quack", that I could.
Upon replaying the video my voice-turned-duck, sounded hilarious! We all laughed so hard that our stomachs began to hurt. It was good to laugh, it changed our whole attitude and added life to our evening.
The next evening, after a long day at work, Robin came home and said that she had left work hoping that I would make her laugh again.
So often, our lives are so stressful that we forget to laugh. Even something as silly as sounding like a duck can melt away the tension of a day.
Most couples can think back to when they first met and remember times that they spent laughing. When asked, "What attracted you to him/her?" One of the most common responses that husbands and wives give is, "He/She makes me laugh!"
Are you or is your marriage relationship tired and broken in spirit? Look for something funny (life is full of funny things), watch something funny or do something funny. Don't forget to laugh - together!
For Marriages and Families,
Dave
Monday, November 9, 2009
Monday Marriage Minder 11-9-09 "It Is Not Good"
The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
Genesis 2:18 NIV
For the past few weeks, due to colds, the kids' practice schedules and various obligations, Robin and I have been busy with the fast pace of our lives - meeting in passing and giving each other a quick kiss hello or goodbye.
For the past two Sundays, Robin has either not been able to attend church or has had to leave early. We certainly do not begrudge any of the activities our kids are in; however, I never quite feel complete without Robin close to me.
Sure, it's church, I'm surrounded by a family that loves me and I them, but without Robin's presence I misfire a bit and typically feel somewhat lost.
In thinking about this, what I feel goes far beyond anything Robin does, or, in her absence, does not do. Simply having her near is energizing and I am more focused and can accomplish far more tasks than I could without her.
I believe God knew this about us men, and uniquely gifted women to be an equal counterpart. Too often, I take for granted the gift God gave me in Robin. All she has to do is be herself and that helps me be a better person. I have learned that her counsel is wise and she seldom misses the mark when it comes to encouraging me and reading people.
Husbands, appreciate your wife's unique giftings and remember that she truly wants to help you become all that God wants you to be. God has well equipped her for that task.
For Marriages and Families,
Dave
Genesis 2:18 NIV
For the past few weeks, due to colds, the kids' practice schedules and various obligations, Robin and I have been busy with the fast pace of our lives - meeting in passing and giving each other a quick kiss hello or goodbye.
For the past two Sundays, Robin has either not been able to attend church or has had to leave early. We certainly do not begrudge any of the activities our kids are in; however, I never quite feel complete without Robin close to me.
Sure, it's church, I'm surrounded by a family that loves me and I them, but without Robin's presence I misfire a bit and typically feel somewhat lost.
In thinking about this, what I feel goes far beyond anything Robin does, or, in her absence, does not do. Simply having her near is energizing and I am more focused and can accomplish far more tasks than I could without her.
I believe God knew this about us men, and uniquely gifted women to be an equal counterpart. Too often, I take for granted the gift God gave me in Robin. All she has to do is be herself and that helps me be a better person. I have learned that her counsel is wise and she seldom misses the mark when it comes to encouraging me and reading people.
Husbands, appreciate your wife's unique giftings and remember that she truly wants to help you become all that God wants you to be. God has well equipped her for that task.
For Marriages and Families,
Dave
Friday, October 30, 2009
MMM - Subscriptions
With our new MMM distributor comes a feature which tells us who has opened their MMM that week. To be a better steward of the gifts our faithful supporters have given us, we have set the automated list settings to delete the email address of any individual that has not opened the MMM within a 6 week time period.
Thanks for reading and thank you for your commitment to your marriage and marriage ministry!
Blessings!
Dave
Thanks for reading and thank you for your commitment to your marriage and marriage ministry!
Blessings!
Dave
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