"The human heart is most deceitful and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? But I know! I, the LORD, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve."
Jeremiah 17:9-10 NLT
Feelings! We hear about them often. How many sentences do we begin with, "I feel" or "I don't feel"? There is some cause for concern when relationships, especially marriages are based on feelings.
One of my favorite lines from the movie Fireproof, says that, "you have to lead your heart." Wow, that is powerful. The heart is the wellspring of our affective lives- our feelings. Our hearts will deceive us. Because the heart-our self, will try to focus our minds on "what I want" and miss important and even obvious aspects. The heart will see a beautiful gold ring but fail to see the green skin of the finger that the fake ring is on. That is the danger on living and loving by feelings. But, a mind fixed on serving Christ and others will lead our hearts to pure love, pure joy and ultimate fulfillment. Think about this! What does it mean to surrender our heart to Christ? It is laying down our self, saying life isn't about me and my feelings.
Perhaps we need to rethink some things. Maybe loving God and our spouse with our hearts isn't near enough. Consider this...
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." Mark 12:30-31NIV (emphasis mine)
Love involves far more than our heart. It includes everything we are. Lead your heart by deciding to love your spouse unconditionally like God loves us. God is watching.
"strengthening marriages and binding broken hearts"
Monday, July 27, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
Monday Marriage Minder - Raising Contenders
Ps 127:3-5 NIV
Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.
Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.
Have you ever had one of those months when everything seemed to be going wrong and even when people rallied in support, you still felt alone, vulnerable and weak? My mothers death, one month ago, ushered in such a time in my life. Often, in these times, one feels distracted and is unable to concentrate. Even things that one typically enjoys doing have less appeal. Subsequently, ant-hills become mountains as the most simple problem appears to be unsolvable.
I have used the above passage before; however, I want to focus on the last line. With Father's Day approaching I want to emphasize that children raised to love and honor God will not be put to shame when they face their enemies. As Christians we have a common enemy and he always seeks to steal, kill and destroy every person and every family.
This week, I received a private message from one of my sons that simply stated that he loves me and is praying for me. With all that I have faced and am continuing to face, it is exciting to watch as one of my "arrows" is flying straight at the heart of the enemy on my behalf.
I cannot think of a better Father's Day gift.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
Sharing The Love - For Marriages
Tonight, Robin and I, along with our friends, had the opportunity to attend a mini-marriage conference presented by Tim and Linda Buttrey of Restoration Resources. I was touched at Tim and Linda's transparency and heart for marriages. There were several times when Robin noticed me squirming in my seat as I was listening to and agreeing with this couple of like passions.
I would like to draw your attention to this marriage ministry. You can find Restoration Resources on the web at www.restorationresources.us The website has links to Tim's blog and contains a wealth of information on marriage family and faith. Strengthening marriages together!
For Marriages and Families
Dave
Monday, March 30, 2009
Monday Marriage Minder - Disappointed
(Read Phillipians-Chapter 3)
Phil 3:12-14 NIV
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
In his book The Life You've Always Wanted - Spiritual Disciplines for Ordinary People, John Ortberg begins the first chapter by penning the words, "I'm disappointed". With the exception of God's Word - the Bible, I do not recall a book that has spiritually bloodied and battered me as much as the first few pages of this book have. You see, I immediately connected with Ortberg's sentiment -"I'm disappointed".
I am disappointed that I am not a better husband. I am disappointed that I am not a better Father. I am disappointed that I am not a better Son, friend, pastor, counselor, and student. I am disappointed that I am not BETTER, period. What has hurt the most is the fact that I am not a better Christian. I am not what I could be and should be; falling far short of all that God has called me to be. Am I better than I once was? I think so. But, I can be better!
Far too many times in life, we fall prey to the attitude that says we're "good enough” or, “good enough because it would be too hard to be better”. This affects every aspect of our life. I am not a better husband because I allow my "self" to get in the way. I am not a better Father because being better would require shifting my focus away from myself. On and on it goes to the same end - I am my own worst enemy. Whether it's partner, parent or pastor, at the end of the day I still have more questions than answers and more struggles than strengths.
I think that is why the Apostle Paul, the self proclaimed worst of all sinners, wrote these words. In them, he says, "I am not there yet, but I am trying!" Although he learned to be content in whatever earthly situation and surrounding, he never was content in his spiritual growth in Christ. He realized the value in becoming more like Christ and, increasingly, so am I. If I become more Christ-like, I will become better in every aspect of my life.
For years I have used the old pyramid diagram when counseling couples. If a husband and wife each form one of the bottom corners of the pyramid and God is represented by the point at the top; as each person comes closer to God they automatically come closer to each other. My point is this. I am not as close to God as I can be, so I am obviously not as close to Robin as I could be.
My prayer is that I will always be disappointed. Are you disappointed?
Phil 3:12-14 NIV
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
In his book The Life You've Always Wanted - Spiritual Disciplines for Ordinary People, John Ortberg begins the first chapter by penning the words, "I'm disappointed". With the exception of God's Word - the Bible, I do not recall a book that has spiritually bloodied and battered me as much as the first few pages of this book have. You see, I immediately connected with Ortberg's sentiment -"I'm disappointed".
I am disappointed that I am not a better husband. I am disappointed that I am not a better Father. I am disappointed that I am not a better Son, friend, pastor, counselor, and student. I am disappointed that I am not BETTER, period. What has hurt the most is the fact that I am not a better Christian. I am not what I could be and should be; falling far short of all that God has called me to be. Am I better than I once was? I think so. But, I can be better!
Far too many times in life, we fall prey to the attitude that says we're "good enough” or, “good enough because it would be too hard to be better”. This affects every aspect of our life. I am not a better husband because I allow my "self" to get in the way. I am not a better Father because being better would require shifting my focus away from myself. On and on it goes to the same end - I am my own worst enemy. Whether it's partner, parent or pastor, at the end of the day I still have more questions than answers and more struggles than strengths.
I think that is why the Apostle Paul, the self proclaimed worst of all sinners, wrote these words. In them, he says, "I am not there yet, but I am trying!" Although he learned to be content in whatever earthly situation and surrounding, he never was content in his spiritual growth in Christ. He realized the value in becoming more like Christ and, increasingly, so am I. If I become more Christ-like, I will become better in every aspect of my life.
For years I have used the old pyramid diagram when counseling couples. If a husband and wife each form one of the bottom corners of the pyramid and God is represented by the point at the top; as each person comes closer to God they automatically come closer to each other. My point is this. I am not as close to God as I can be, so I am obviously not as close to Robin as I could be.
My prayer is that I will always be disappointed. Are you disappointed?
Friday, March 27, 2009
Stepping It Up!
I took a step of faith today. I have been praying and sensing the Holy Spirit's leading to expand the marriage ministry to which God has called us. After a month of prayer, I finally sent out our new brochure offering to minister to marriages in any church.
A member at one church which recently asked us to come and do a conference wanted to know how much we "charged" to speak at a conference. I looked at Robin, Robin looked at me, we both blinked and, simultaneously, our minds shifted into neutral. Uhhh...
I was the first to speak ( I hate it when I do that) How about $100.00 for a weekend? Robin looked at me like I was nuts. She was right, I am nuts. $100.00 was way to much. Robin and I have been called by God to minister to those marriages that are falling through the cracks due to job losses and the subsequent loss of insurance coverage which makes many of the good ministries currently available, cost prohibitive.
We decided, right then and there, we would continue ministering to all couples and let God take care of the rest. We have never set a fee for counseling, mentoring, speaking or writing (95% free-of-charge) and God has been more than faithful.
I do not know what type of responses I will receive from the churches, if any; but God will continue to draw hurting people and couples to us so that we may be faithful and obedient to his call.
A member at one church which recently asked us to come and do a conference wanted to know how much we "charged" to speak at a conference. I looked at Robin, Robin looked at me, we both blinked and, simultaneously, our minds shifted into neutral. Uhhh...
I was the first to speak ( I hate it when I do that) How about $100.00 for a weekend? Robin looked at me like I was nuts. She was right, I am nuts. $100.00 was way to much. Robin and I have been called by God to minister to those marriages that are falling through the cracks due to job losses and the subsequent loss of insurance coverage which makes many of the good ministries currently available, cost prohibitive.
We decided, right then and there, we would continue ministering to all couples and let God take care of the rest. We have never set a fee for counseling, mentoring, speaking or writing (95% free-of-charge) and God has been more than faithful.
I do not know what type of responses I will receive from the churches, if any; but God will continue to draw hurting people and couples to us so that we may be faithful and obedient to his call.
Monday, March 9, 2009
How's Your Aim? - Our Greatest Responsibility and Ministry
Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth.
Ps 127:3-4 NIV
Saturday night, we went to a friend's (yes we have friends) birthday party at a banquet hall. Being in a public facility, when the need arose, I took our son, Alex, to the restroom. As we walked, I said something silly to which he responded back with silliness far surpassing anything I could come up with.
I do not recall how the subject came up, but in between the silliness, I told him that two of my favorite things in life were being a husband to his mother and being his father. He looked at me and asked, "Even more than being a rock star?" I have no idea where that came from.
When we returned to our home that evening, I heard Alex telling my wife, Robin, what I had said. I think that he felt even more loved and secure by that simple statement made from a man who still has more questions than answers.
Yesterday, during our morning church service, we had a baby dedication. I used the above verse on the picture we projected during the dedication. As I was preparing that picture, I realized that if children are like arrows, than I, as their father, have the responsibility of aiming our children toward God and his will for their young lives. If I aim them at Christ, chances are they will become godly young men and a godly young lady. However, if I aim them at anything else...
There are three things that I want our children to always know and remember about their father. That I love God, I love their mother and that I love them! You see what I'm aiming them at? I want them to grow up and exhibit those same qualities to God, their spouse and their children.
How's your aim?
Adapted from the MONDAY MARRIAGE MINDER free e-letter. To subscribe send an email to revdkidd@gmail.com with Subscribe MMM in the subject line.
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