"May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer — may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love."
Proverbs 5:18-19 NIV
"I belong to my lover, and his desire is for me. Come, my lover, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night in the villages. Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom — there I will give you my love."
Song of Solomon 7:10-12 NIV
Wow! I think I might need to open a window. Steamy stuff, smoking off the pages of God's Word. And to think that some people, ignorantly, call God's Word boring. Hardly.
I want to ask you a question. How are you spending your time together as a couple? If you are like Robin and I, your time and attention seems to be always divided and, often, diverted away from the second most important relationship that we have - our relationship with our spouse.
I am writing from recent and current experience. In the midst of the seemingly chaotic days of our life, Robin and I have become painfully aware of the time we are borrowing from "OUR" time.
You know what I am talking about. Instead of stealing moments away together, we continue, full speed ahead, with activities with our kids, house projects, daily chores and the list could go on. Even though these things are important, we often forget to count the cost that is demanded.
The Costs of Borrowing
1. Relational Bankruptcy
We are all given 24 hours in a day. Regardless of what anyone says, that 24 hours is the same length for everyone - not one second longer or shorter. We can use our 24 hours to do important things. However, if those important things take over and begin to exclude the urgent need we have for time with our spouse, then we are headed for disaster.
Time, in our current reality, is in a state of constant progression. If we choose to "borrow" the time we could spend with our spouse and use it in another activity, then the relational account we have with our spouse for that day receives a deduction.
String enough withdrawals together, even over a short period of time and a marriage could be headed for bankruptcy.
2. Fatigue
Beyond borrowing time, when we choose another activity other than being with our spouse we have to borrow the energy which could have been used with our spouse - in conversation, in a walk or in an intimate encounter. It all takes energy.
Is it any wonder why so many couples state that they feel so distant from each other? They fall into bed at night, too exhausted - mentally, to even have a coherent conversation; emotionally , to even understand those three little words; and, physically? Dream On!
Our lifestyles in this world of ease and convenience is draining the life out of many marriages.
3. Priority Importance
Priorities are a must for any marriage. I'm not writing about the theoretical but the practical priorities that we strive to live out in our day to day lives.
I recently read a fact that was posted by a friend and fellow marriage ministry provider, Stephen Buckner, that said that couples that pray together are 90% more likely to report high satisfaction in their
sex lives than couples who do not pray together. Think about it...
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
Matthew 6:33 NIV
"Delight yourself in the Lord
and he will give you the desires of your heart."
Psalms 37:4 NIV
Am I implying that praying together as a couple will automatically result in a more satisfying sex life? Indirectly - Yes!
I submit that those couples who pray together are less concerned with the things that Christ was warning his audience about in the above verse. If they are less concerned with those things they would not be borrowing time and energy from their time with each other to pursue those things.
I like a clean house, a well kept yard, clean dishes and clothes. But we must be careful, we can have all of those things and still end up in marital bankruptcy. On the other hand, stop doing those things and you will experience an equal disaster.
Balance!
I could get into living out the married love described in the Song of Solomon. Instead of living on borrowed time, perhaps we would be better off to begin living on balanced time. Where do we find that balance? Ask that of God in your PRAYER TIME today!
For Marriages,
Dave
