Phil 3:13-14 NIV
Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
I'm a bit of an aviation buff. I've always been fascinated with planes and flying. Recently, I was reading an article that detailed the events leading up to a devastating plane crash. It seems that up until the time that something went wrong, the plane was on auto-pilot.
Surprisingly, the most difficult aspect of learning to fly is the seemingly simple act of flying straight and level. An auto-pilot feature makes flying a plane much easier as it, in its simplest capabilities, causes the plane to maintain a compass heading. Straight and level flying simplified. However, when left unattended, an auto-pilot feature is capable of flying a plane into the side of a mountain.
Pilots are taught and trained that an auto-pilot feature still needs to be programmed and monitored. It will cause the plane to fly only in the direction the pilot programs it to. Plus, a basic auto-pilot will not automatically cause the plane to climb in order to gain altitude to clear a mountain peak. Failure to program an auto-pilot feature properly or simply turning it on and then forgetting it can lead to disaster.
In marriage simply saying "I do" without understanding what one is saying "I do" to. Or. To think that "I do" said once will suffice for the entire marriage, rather than "I did and I still do", can lead to equally devastating results.
Auto-pilots for planes are helpful. Auto pilots for marriages are devastating. If we are not calculating our motives, monitoring our thoughts, words and actions and investing in the future of our marriages, chances are, we're on auto pilot.
The Apostle Paul's words to the church in Philippi apply as well to the marriage relationship as it does to what the marriage relationship represents. If we are content with where we are and are unconcerned about where we are going we could be headed straight into a mountainside. One of the most common statements heard about plane crashes and marital conflict is, "We never saw it coming."
An acquaintance of mine has a life saying. It says, "Grow daily or die gradually." What are you doing for your marriage in order for it to grow? Or. Is your marriage on auto-pilot?
For Marriages,
Dave
"strengthening marriages and binding broken hearts"
Monday, October 5, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
You Choose - Monday Marriage Minder
"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved." 1 Corinthians 10:31-33 NIV
It would have been easier to stay on the path. It would have been easier to do what everybody else was doing. It also would have been easier on my body to do the bare minimum. However, in doing those things, I would have missed the experience of traveling the road less taken and being rewarded with amazing beauty and a memory etched into the minds of a young man and his father.
Hiking wooded trails and scaling rock ledges is hardly the norm for me but the opportunity presented itself and I jumped at the chance. We had been walking along the trail for a while when someone pointed out a a narrow and rock-lined crag in a cliff. After hearing a remark about it being too hard of a climb for the "old man", all it took was one look at my son, Brandon, and we were climbing.
When we reached the top, the view below was breathtaking as we looked over several miles of forest. While we were up there, I couldn't help but think about how many times we, as couples, are content with just doing the bare minimum, following the crowd on a path that never leads to grand views and wonderful experiences within our marriages.
If our marriage is our mission, shouldn't we "do" marriage for the glory of God? Is God impressed when we simply exist with each other - the bare minimum? Is that the sum of his plan for our marriages? Is that the image of Christ's relationship with his church that we want to convey to others?
I could have stayed on the path, but choosing to climb that ledge (and nearly every other ledge we found from then on) with my son paid immediate dividends and will, undoubtedly, pay more as his young life unfolds. In the same way, if I choose to love my wife for the glory of God, what dividends will that pay into the lives and souls of those within our sphere of influence?
The choice is ours to make. With my mind on the mission, I choose to love for the glory of God!
For Marriages!
Monday, September 14, 2009
Your Marriage - Your Mission
Think about this statement. Every individual has a God-ordained mission. Just as every individual has a mission, so does every marriage - especially Christian marriages. Our mission as married couples is multi-faceted, which we will begin to address here.
In God's Word, the Bible, there are several main themes outlined from cover to cover. One could say that the Bible's main theme is Theo-centric - with God as the grand subject. Others might maintain that the main theme is mankind’s relationship to God. Still others, including myself, believe that the primary theme of the Scriptures is reconciliation -namely, God's plan to reconcile mankind to himself. It is in this plan, this ongoing and blood-bought labor of love that we find our mission in our marriages.
For his reasons alone, God chose to use us, his people, to be his mouth, hands and feet in restoring mankind to himself. Our enemy, Satan, reeked havoc on that fateful day in the garden. Hence Gods all- knowing and pre-fall command to mankind - "increase in number and rule over the earth and subdue it. (Gen 1:28) The fall of man, shifted the perfect to imperfect, the balanced to in-balanced and from good to evil. The fall resulted with mankind taking on a sinful mind and a nature displeasing to God.
...the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God. (Rom 8:7-8 NIV)
However, God has enlisted every married couple to aid in this reconciliation endeavor.
Has not [the LORD] made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. (Mal 2:15 NIV)
Sadly, many individuals and marriages within our own families, communities and even our churches are still marked by that devastating day. But we as married Christians, even though our human nature still bears remnants of that mark, can be a light to those individuals and couples. We can facilitate reconciliation by being examples of Christ's love in the way we demonstrate that love to our spouse. Our marriages are entrusted instruments in God's hands to lead others into the restoring balance and peace that a reconciling relationship with Jesus Christ can bring.
In his book, Sacred Marriage, Gary Thomas writes, "We cannot discuss with any integrity the ending of "a relation of enmity" and the dawning of "peace and goodwill" if our marriages are marked with divorce, fighting and animosity." (Zondervan 2000) Additionally, Thomas asks a very pointed question. "How can I tell my children that God's promise of reconciliation is secure when they see that my own promise doesn't mean a thing?" (Zondervan 2000)
Marriages are foundational to God's mission of reconciliation. As a Christian couple, your marriage is your mission! More on this in future weeks.
Monday, August 31, 2009
God's Got This!
Phil 4:6-7 NIV
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
We really enjoyed the time off, spending time with family and checking out the sights at D.C.
Our vacation was unexpectedly extended one more day as our van's alternator decided to get to
the business of dying about 20 minutes out of D.C. Having had it replaced before, we knew the
potential for another costly repair. I decided that we were going to get as far away from the city as we could. Robin and I were praying that we would make it somewhere safe, were we could get it repaired.
Enter God
As we neared Hagerstown, MD, the alternator gave up and the van quickly began sputtering as
the battery voltage dropped too low to run the fuel pump properly. At this point, our prayer efforts went into overdrive.
We were using a borrowed GPS unit that was doing a great job at turn-by-turn directions.
It was programmed to guide us home. As the van began to sputter, the GPS unit suddenly
told me to take the next exit. After exiting, the GPS directed me to turn right in 800 yards and,
upon achieving that distance, directed me into the parking lot of a Hampton Inn,
where the van completely died. Looking around, I noticed a sign that said Byrd's Auto repair on a building right next to the Motel.
Being a Sunday evening, it was closed. Long story short, we spent the night at The Hampton Inn, which included swimming in the pool, eating pizza and enjoying a complimentary hot breakfast.
On Monday morning, the repair shop replaced the alternator for $150.00 less than expected and we were again on our way.
When I arrived back at the church office, there was a envelope in my mailbox which contained
a check. Someone on Sunday morning, before we had even left D.C., felt led to give me and my
family a love gift which covered most of the repair bill.
God is always in control! In good times and bad, blessings and trials, He is God! Too often, we limit God to the size of our largest problem or worse, our current problem(s). We just wanted to get off of the highway and be safe. God provided in His true fashion – beyond our requests and
imaginations.
Whatever the circumstance, be it in your marriage, family or life, ask God to work in
it and provide the solution. What God can do will amaze you.
Looking back, when asked about what she liked most about our
vacation, our daughter Kaitlin answered, "Staying at the Hampton Inn".
Question of The Week:
What areas do you need to give to God for in your marriage, family and life? When you give it
To Him, you can be assured that “God’s Got This”!
For Marriages and Families,
Dave
©2009 Binding Hearts Marriage and Family Ministries
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
We really enjoyed the time off, spending time with family and checking out the sights at D.C.
Our vacation was unexpectedly extended one more day as our van's alternator decided to get to
the business of dying about 20 minutes out of D.C. Having had it replaced before, we knew the
potential for another costly repair. I decided that we were going to get as far away from the city as we could. Robin and I were praying that we would make it somewhere safe, were we could get it repaired.
Enter God
As we neared Hagerstown, MD, the alternator gave up and the van quickly began sputtering as
the battery voltage dropped too low to run the fuel pump properly. At this point, our prayer efforts went into overdrive.
We were using a borrowed GPS unit that was doing a great job at turn-by-turn directions.
It was programmed to guide us home. As the van began to sputter, the GPS unit suddenly
told me to take the next exit. After exiting, the GPS directed me to turn right in 800 yards and,
upon achieving that distance, directed me into the parking lot of a Hampton Inn,
where the van completely died. Looking around, I noticed a sign that said Byrd's Auto repair on a building right next to the Motel.
Being a Sunday evening, it was closed. Long story short, we spent the night at The Hampton Inn, which included swimming in the pool, eating pizza and enjoying a complimentary hot breakfast.
On Monday morning, the repair shop replaced the alternator for $150.00 less than expected and we were again on our way.
When I arrived back at the church office, there was a envelope in my mailbox which contained
a check. Someone on Sunday morning, before we had even left D.C., felt led to give me and my
family a love gift which covered most of the repair bill.
God is always in control! In good times and bad, blessings and trials, He is God! Too often, we limit God to the size of our largest problem or worse, our current problem(s). We just wanted to get off of the highway and be safe. God provided in His true fashion – beyond our requests and
imaginations.
Whatever the circumstance, be it in your marriage, family or life, ask God to work in
it and provide the solution. What God can do will amaze you.
Looking back, when asked about what she liked most about our
vacation, our daughter Kaitlin answered, "Staying at the Hampton Inn".
Question of The Week:
What areas do you need to give to God for in your marriage, family and life? When you give it
To Him, you can be assured that “God’s Got This”!
For Marriages and Families,
Dave
©2009 Binding Hearts Marriage and Family Ministries
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Quote of the Week
NAME Marriage Network "If my marriage is right, then I can have my family right. If my family is strong, then we can help other families be strong. If we have strong families, we will have a strong church. Imagine how strong our Christian impact can be if we just fix ourselves at the root, in our marriage."
Monday, August 10, 2009
Just Like Me?
1 Cor 10:12-13 NIV
So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall!
My Son, Alex and I were in the van, sitting at a red light when I noticed a church sign with these words on it.
"If you want them (children) to be just like you, point them to God."
I pondered those words as we drove on. We had not gone one block before Alex asked, "Do you want me to be just like you?" He, too, had read the sign. My answer came immediately. "NO, I want you to be better than me," I told him. I looked in the rearview mirror in time to catch his smile.
It is true! If Alex, or any of my children, turn out only to be like me, then I would probably view my role as their father - a failure. Allow me to be very transparent and honest here. I am far from great, in fact, I still have to go before my Lord and ask his forgiveness on a regular basis. I am on the journey but I have not arrived! If I allow myself to think that I can relax and be content in my own growth in Christ, then I have not only hindered my relationship with Christ but I have jeopardized my children’s' potential.
Contentment sounds great, peaceful even. However, being content with where we are with Christ is complacency. Much of who I am has been shaped by actions of the past – actions that were mine or of those closest to me. It is imperative that I continue to grow in Christ because, to a certain extent, the souls of four "Kidds" depend on it.
Destructive patterns have run in my family for several generations. Patterns of behavior that I, by the grace and favor of God, intend to break, not just for me but for our children. To that end, the Apostle Paul's advice in the above verse must become a code in my life. While my eyes remain stayed on the Rock that is Jesus, I will strain forward as if my feet are always in sand.
So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall!
My Son, Alex and I were in the van, sitting at a red light when I noticed a church sign with these words on it.
"If you want them (children) to be just like you, point them to God."
I pondered those words as we drove on. We had not gone one block before Alex asked, "Do you want me to be just like you?" He, too, had read the sign. My answer came immediately. "NO, I want you to be better than me," I told him. I looked in the rearview mirror in time to catch his smile.
It is true! If Alex, or any of my children, turn out only to be like me, then I would probably view my role as their father - a failure. Allow me to be very transparent and honest here. I am far from great, in fact, I still have to go before my Lord and ask his forgiveness on a regular basis. I am on the journey but I have not arrived! If I allow myself to think that I can relax and be content in my own growth in Christ, then I have not only hindered my relationship with Christ but I have jeopardized my children’s' potential.
Contentment sounds great, peaceful even. However, being content with where we are with Christ is complacency. Much of who I am has been shaped by actions of the past – actions that were mine or of those closest to me. It is imperative that I continue to grow in Christ because, to a certain extent, the souls of four "Kidds" depend on it.
Destructive patterns have run in my family for several generations. Patterns of behavior that I, by the grace and favor of God, intend to break, not just for me but for our children. To that end, the Apostle Paul's advice in the above verse must become a code in my life. While my eyes remain stayed on the Rock that is Jesus, I will strain forward as if my feet are always in sand.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Winning While Losing
Winning While Losing
August 3, 2009
Eph 4:26 NIV
"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,
“This could go on for hours,” I thought while trying to reposition my body behind the wooden barricade protecting me from the pummeling spray of the “enemy’s front lines.. At that point, I had two choices, stay put behind the barricade or try to advance toward the “enemy” and risk getting shot.
I didn’t have to ponder that decision for long because just as I positioned my gun for a shot at a defending opponent, I felt a paintball hit my gun barrel, and I saw the paint splatter over my hands, hence my elimination from the game. I raised my gun in the air and began walking off the field, only to be hit by a few more shots.
That didn’t seem right, I was done and doing what I was supposed to do and someone couldn’t resist taking a few cheap shots at an easy target.
Marriage is hardly like a game of paintball; however, while I was walking off of that field, I thought about how we try to have the last say in an argument or to win a disagreement. It is the same as taking those last few cheap shots before we put the gun of our own selfishness away.
The verse above reminds us not to sin in our anger. However, if husbands are to love their wife as Christ loved the church, taking a cheap shot is a sin – even when they, too are being shot at.
Truce anyone?
August 3, 2009
Eph 4:26 NIV
"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,
“This could go on for hours,” I thought while trying to reposition my body behind the wooden barricade protecting me from the pummeling spray of the “enemy’s front lines.. At that point, I had two choices, stay put behind the barricade or try to advance toward the “enemy” and risk getting shot.
I didn’t have to ponder that decision for long because just as I positioned my gun for a shot at a defending opponent, I felt a paintball hit my gun barrel, and I saw the paint splatter over my hands, hence my elimination from the game. I raised my gun in the air and began walking off the field, only to be hit by a few more shots.
That didn’t seem right, I was done and doing what I was supposed to do and someone couldn’t resist taking a few cheap shots at an easy target.
Marriage is hardly like a game of paintball; however, while I was walking off of that field, I thought about how we try to have the last say in an argument or to win a disagreement. It is the same as taking those last few cheap shots before we put the gun of our own selfishness away.
The verse above reminds us not to sin in our anger. However, if husbands are to love their wife as Christ loved the church, taking a cheap shot is a sin – even when they, too are being shot at.
Truce anyone?
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