"strengthening marriages and binding broken hearts"
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Quote of the Week
NAME Marriage Network "If my marriage is right, then I can have my family right. If my family is strong, then we can help other families be strong. If we have strong families, we will have a strong church. Imagine how strong our Christian impact can be if we just fix ourselves at the root, in our marriage."
Monday, August 10, 2009
Just Like Me?
1 Cor 10:12-13 NIV
So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall!
My Son, Alex and I were in the van, sitting at a red light when I noticed a church sign with these words on it.
"If you want them (children) to be just like you, point them to God."
I pondered those words as we drove on. We had not gone one block before Alex asked, "Do you want me to be just like you?" He, too, had read the sign. My answer came immediately. "NO, I want you to be better than me," I told him. I looked in the rearview mirror in time to catch his smile.
It is true! If Alex, or any of my children, turn out only to be like me, then I would probably view my role as their father - a failure. Allow me to be very transparent and honest here. I am far from great, in fact, I still have to go before my Lord and ask his forgiveness on a regular basis. I am on the journey but I have not arrived! If I allow myself to think that I can relax and be content in my own growth in Christ, then I have not only hindered my relationship with Christ but I have jeopardized my children’s' potential.
Contentment sounds great, peaceful even. However, being content with where we are with Christ is complacency. Much of who I am has been shaped by actions of the past – actions that were mine or of those closest to me. It is imperative that I continue to grow in Christ because, to a certain extent, the souls of four "Kidds" depend on it.
Destructive patterns have run in my family for several generations. Patterns of behavior that I, by the grace and favor of God, intend to break, not just for me but for our children. To that end, the Apostle Paul's advice in the above verse must become a code in my life. While my eyes remain stayed on the Rock that is Jesus, I will strain forward as if my feet are always in sand.
So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall!
My Son, Alex and I were in the van, sitting at a red light when I noticed a church sign with these words on it.
"If you want them (children) to be just like you, point them to God."
I pondered those words as we drove on. We had not gone one block before Alex asked, "Do you want me to be just like you?" He, too, had read the sign. My answer came immediately. "NO, I want you to be better than me," I told him. I looked in the rearview mirror in time to catch his smile.
It is true! If Alex, or any of my children, turn out only to be like me, then I would probably view my role as their father - a failure. Allow me to be very transparent and honest here. I am far from great, in fact, I still have to go before my Lord and ask his forgiveness on a regular basis. I am on the journey but I have not arrived! If I allow myself to think that I can relax and be content in my own growth in Christ, then I have not only hindered my relationship with Christ but I have jeopardized my children’s' potential.
Contentment sounds great, peaceful even. However, being content with where we are with Christ is complacency. Much of who I am has been shaped by actions of the past – actions that were mine or of those closest to me. It is imperative that I continue to grow in Christ because, to a certain extent, the souls of four "Kidds" depend on it.
Destructive patterns have run in my family for several generations. Patterns of behavior that I, by the grace and favor of God, intend to break, not just for me but for our children. To that end, the Apostle Paul's advice in the above verse must become a code in my life. While my eyes remain stayed on the Rock that is Jesus, I will strain forward as if my feet are always in sand.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Winning While Losing
Winning While Losing
August 3, 2009
Eph 4:26 NIV
"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,
“This could go on for hours,” I thought while trying to reposition my body behind the wooden barricade protecting me from the pummeling spray of the “enemy’s front lines.. At that point, I had two choices, stay put behind the barricade or try to advance toward the “enemy” and risk getting shot.
I didn’t have to ponder that decision for long because just as I positioned my gun for a shot at a defending opponent, I felt a paintball hit my gun barrel, and I saw the paint splatter over my hands, hence my elimination from the game. I raised my gun in the air and began walking off the field, only to be hit by a few more shots.
That didn’t seem right, I was done and doing what I was supposed to do and someone couldn’t resist taking a few cheap shots at an easy target.
Marriage is hardly like a game of paintball; however, while I was walking off of that field, I thought about how we try to have the last say in an argument or to win a disagreement. It is the same as taking those last few cheap shots before we put the gun of our own selfishness away.
The verse above reminds us not to sin in our anger. However, if husbands are to love their wife as Christ loved the church, taking a cheap shot is a sin – even when they, too are being shot at.
Truce anyone?
August 3, 2009
Eph 4:26 NIV
"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,
“This could go on for hours,” I thought while trying to reposition my body behind the wooden barricade protecting me from the pummeling spray of the “enemy’s front lines.. At that point, I had two choices, stay put behind the barricade or try to advance toward the “enemy” and risk getting shot.
I didn’t have to ponder that decision for long because just as I positioned my gun for a shot at a defending opponent, I felt a paintball hit my gun barrel, and I saw the paint splatter over my hands, hence my elimination from the game. I raised my gun in the air and began walking off the field, only to be hit by a few more shots.
That didn’t seem right, I was done and doing what I was supposed to do and someone couldn’t resist taking a few cheap shots at an easy target.
Marriage is hardly like a game of paintball; however, while I was walking off of that field, I thought about how we try to have the last say in an argument or to win a disagreement. It is the same as taking those last few cheap shots before we put the gun of our own selfishness away.
The verse above reminds us not to sin in our anger. However, if husbands are to love their wife as Christ loved the church, taking a cheap shot is a sin – even when they, too are being shot at.
Truce anyone?
Monday, July 27, 2009
Leading Your Heart - Beyond Feelings
"The human heart is most deceitful and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? But I know! I, the LORD, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve."
Jeremiah 17:9-10 NLT
Feelings! We hear about them often. How many sentences do we begin with, "I feel" or "I don't feel"? There is some cause for concern when relationships, especially marriages are based on feelings.
One of my favorite lines from the movie Fireproof, says that, "you have to lead your heart." Wow, that is powerful. The heart is the wellspring of our affective lives- our feelings. Our hearts will deceive us. Because the heart-our self, will try to focus our minds on "what I want" and miss important and even obvious aspects. The heart will see a beautiful gold ring but fail to see the green skin of the finger that the fake ring is on. That is the danger on living and loving by feelings. But, a mind fixed on serving Christ and others will lead our hearts to pure love, pure joy and ultimate fulfillment. Think about this! What does it mean to surrender our heart to Christ? It is laying down our self, saying life isn't about me and my feelings.
Perhaps we need to rethink some things. Maybe loving God and our spouse with our hearts isn't near enough. Consider this...
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." Mark 12:30-31NIV (emphasis mine)
Love involves far more than our heart. It includes everything we are. Lead your heart by deciding to love your spouse unconditionally like God loves us. God is watching.
Jeremiah 17:9-10 NLT
Feelings! We hear about them often. How many sentences do we begin with, "I feel" or "I don't feel"? There is some cause for concern when relationships, especially marriages are based on feelings.
One of my favorite lines from the movie Fireproof, says that, "you have to lead your heart." Wow, that is powerful. The heart is the wellspring of our affective lives- our feelings. Our hearts will deceive us. Because the heart-our self, will try to focus our minds on "what I want" and miss important and even obvious aspects. The heart will see a beautiful gold ring but fail to see the green skin of the finger that the fake ring is on. That is the danger on living and loving by feelings. But, a mind fixed on serving Christ and others will lead our hearts to pure love, pure joy and ultimate fulfillment. Think about this! What does it mean to surrender our heart to Christ? It is laying down our self, saying life isn't about me and my feelings.
Perhaps we need to rethink some things. Maybe loving God and our spouse with our hearts isn't near enough. Consider this...
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." Mark 12:30-31NIV (emphasis mine)
Love involves far more than our heart. It includes everything we are. Lead your heart by deciding to love your spouse unconditionally like God loves us. God is watching.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Monday Marriage Minder - Raising Contenders
Ps 127:3-5 NIV
Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.
Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.
Have you ever had one of those months when everything seemed to be going wrong and even when people rallied in support, you still felt alone, vulnerable and weak? My mothers death, one month ago, ushered in such a time in my life. Often, in these times, one feels distracted and is unable to concentrate. Even things that one typically enjoys doing have less appeal. Subsequently, ant-hills become mountains as the most simple problem appears to be unsolvable.
I have used the above passage before; however, I want to focus on the last line. With Father's Day approaching I want to emphasize that children raised to love and honor God will not be put to shame when they face their enemies. As Christians we have a common enemy and he always seeks to steal, kill and destroy every person and every family.
This week, I received a private message from one of my sons that simply stated that he loves me and is praying for me. With all that I have faced and am continuing to face, it is exciting to watch as one of my "arrows" is flying straight at the heart of the enemy on my behalf.
I cannot think of a better Father's Day gift.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
Sharing The Love - For Marriages
Tonight, Robin and I, along with our friends, had the opportunity to attend a mini-marriage conference presented by Tim and Linda Buttrey of Restoration Resources. I was touched at Tim and Linda's transparency and heart for marriages. There were several times when Robin noticed me squirming in my seat as I was listening to and agreeing with this couple of like passions.
I would like to draw your attention to this marriage ministry. You can find Restoration Resources on the web at www.restorationresources.us The website has links to Tim's blog and contains a wealth of information on marriage family and faith. Strengthening marriages together!
For Marriages and Families
Dave
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