OOPS!

Some mistakes can be easily corrected. Others take some time and effort to rectify. Still others have only minimal affect on life in the grand scheme of things.

But, what about a mistake that has wreaked unbelievable havoc and has cost the Church dearly?

I believe, and this is probably only my belief, that the Church as a whole has made a critical error. Just a few short years ago, ministries such as Teen Mania revealed startling statistics about the young generation. Below are a few of these statistics...

THIS IS A GENERATION IN CRISIS
* 1 out of 11 attempt SUICIDE each year.

* 1 out of 10 fifteen year olds and younger have gone through family divorce in their life-time.

* 58% have been involved in objectionable content on the web.

* 40% have experimented with SELF-INJURY ("are "cutters").

* Use of prescription DRUGS (Ritalin, anti-depressants etc.) by children/teens has increased substantially in the past few years.

THIS IS A GENERATION WITHOUT MORALITY
•By the time the average child graduates from high school, he/she will have watched 19,000 hours of TV including about 200,000 sexual acts and 1 million ACTS OF VIOLENCE.

•1 in 10 high school females have reported being RAPED at some point in their life.

•Fear of violence in schools is now the leading "worry" of public school teens.

•48% of high school seniors are SEXUALLY ACTIVE (had sexual intercourse in past 3 months).


THIS IS A GENERATION WITHOUT TRUTH
•91% say there is NO ABSOLUTE TRUTH.

•75% of teens in America believe the central message of the Bible is, "God helps those who help themselves".

•53% believe Jesus committed sin (40% of born again teens believe Jesus committed sin).

(Source - Teen Mania Ministries )

As I look over these statistics, I immediately see a common denominator. Sure, it is easy to see, you see it too. That denominator is the lack of a godly example in the form of parents in a Christ-centered marriage.
 
As if these statistics are not disturbing enough, I see a even more disturbing trend. Although the Church has ramped up their youth ministries and are investing a few hours a week into the lives of teens, many of these same teens are still under the majority influence of only moderately healthy to unhealthy, and even, broken marriages as depicted by their parents.
 
I am extremely thankful for these ministry efforts and the youth pastors and youth leaders who fight courageously and passionately for the lives and souls of the teens that they minister to. However, the influence of the home will not be overcome in the vast majority of these young lives, until the Church intentionally engages in marriage ministry, single parent ministry and even divorce recovery with a slant toward reconciliation.
 

Instead of taking a holistic approach to the epidemic, we put a band aid on a symptom while allowing the disease to continue. Instead of intentionally treating the dysfunction both within the Church and outside of the Church, we allow the majority, the primary influence, to continue spreading the disease while we build ministries that do not address the root cause. Sure, the disease is sin and the Gospel, presented in it's power, and the subsequent acceptance on the part of the hearer, remedies that portion of the epidemic.

But the influence of the parent(s) is critical.
 
"My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water." James 3:12 NIV

The words spoken into this young generation and the actions that this young generation sees in their homes will have a profound impact on their lives.

The Church, in her failure to be intentional in ministry to marriages and families, in whatever form exists within and without of her walls, has fueled the continuance of the epidemic. Hence, the pinpoint accuracy of these statistics today. What will it take to remedy this?

Intentionality.

The Church needs pastors who are courageous enough to implement gifted leadership into these areas and set a clear explanation of why these ministries exist. Who raise up an accountability and expectation process that says, we have these ministries for you and we expect you to avail yourself to them. In short, pastors and leaders who say, "Husband and Wives, Fathers and Mothers and Families, as members/partners/attendees of this church, we expect you to strive to have Christ-centered marriages and families. And, If you are no longer married, we expect you to avail yourself to the ministries that will help you prepare to have a Christ-centered marriage in the future."

Besides leading people to salvation, the Church must be about the business of dicipling new and existing believers. As humans, we do not inheritantly know how to be a godly husband, father, wife or mother. The Church desparately needs ministries to address these issues.

As I stated in a previous paragraph, these are only my thoughts. But I firmly believe that, while this error cannot be reversed, the course can be redirected for the benefit of our current and future families. Seamless ministry involving, pastors, counselors, marriage ministry leaders, youth pastors/leaders and children's ministry pastors/leaders, together working in the same direction can bring great results through Christ.

Climbing down off of my soapbox now.

Blessings!

Watch Out For The Trap

"Are you hearing things?" It is a common question in movies, especially those movies depicting a patient and therapist relationship.

Usually, the patient gets defensive and emphatically states that they are not "hearing things".

Have you ever been tempted to ask your spouse the same question? You know, during those times when your spouse reacts in such an unexpected way to something you said. You question, at least in your mind, what on earth they heard?

Truth is, we all hear things. We not only hear what is verbally spoken by our spouse and others, but, all-the-while it is being spoken, we are extrapolating the meaning and the purpose behind the words.

Often, that meaning and purpose derived from our perception and estimation becomes a distortion of the intent of our spouse.

Case in point. I woke up this morning and walked out into our kitchen to find my wife, Robin, hurrying about as she was preparing to leave for work. The first words out of her mouth were, "You need to..."

OK. I instantly had a couple of choices. I could view her words as being disrespectful and unloving and stomp off while muttering things like,

"I can't believe she didn't say good morning." Or. "Who is she to give me orders?"

Or, as I did this morning, I realized that I had slept in, I did not help her with the kids, the laundry, the bills or anything else. Oh, wait, I did make the bed, but anyway...

Here is the point. Our marriage has a real enemy. His name is Satan. He loves to drive a wedge between a husband and wife by wanting us to take offense at the words and actions of our spouse.

Robin's intent was not to say, "You're a lousy husband and your not worth greeting in the morning." No. Her intent was," I'm in a hurry, this thing that I'm asking you to do is really important to me and I NEED YOU to take care of it. She was asking me to step up and be her hero today.

Same words, entirely different meaning.

I had been hearing a buzz about a book and it's author recently. To be honest, as much as I like to write, I am not much of a reader - a fault that I'm working on. However, I heard the author speak twice last week at a conference that we were speaking at, and I was both convicted and challenged. I had Robin purchase the book for me to read as soon as we returned home.

The book is called The Bait of Satan by John Bevere. In the book, Bevere, exposes the trap that the enemy sets for all of us, regarding our relationships. That trap is, of course, offense. In marriage, if the enemy can get us to be offended, he can separate us, emotionally, relationally and spiritually from our spouse and, ultimately, from God.

Recognizing the temptation to take offense with our spouse, is key to spiritually protecting your spouse and your marriage.

My prayer today, was,

"God, I know that Robin was communicating from her heart this morning. I know that she loves me and needs me to help her with what she asked. Help me not to allow offense to come between her and I and between us and You."

Have you allowed satan's trap of offense into your marriage? Or, are you spiritually protecting your marriage?

Do not merely listen to the words that your spouse speaks to you, but listen to what they are truly speaking - from the heart.